I'm scared of my old man
wishing for him to never return
waiting for the day that he leaves us
this is what it feels like to be imprisoned
to avoid a beating I keep my mouth shut.
Me and my brothers stay out of sight
threatened, we walk on eggshells1
I'm worthless in my own home
and my mom doesn't seem to love him anymore2.
She's a witness to it all, her little eyes only shine3
she cries because of how her kids are suffering
at the sight of us at home he looks pissed off
but what have we done to deserve this?
He created his fate and imposed it on us
he confused fondness with abuse
if he doesn't want us, why doesn't he get the fuck out?
and see who else's life he can ruin4.
[Chorus]
But in my blinding rage
I beat him to a bloody pulp5
and I told him "get out6,
I'm not gonna deal with you anymore"
I don't sleep at night anymore
and my days seem to go on forever
with this drama at two in the morning
I'm just a kid and the truth is, I'm scared.
My old man has turned our home into a living hell
who would have thought that as a kid
it crossed my mind to beat the shit out of him7
he never gave us anything, not even a fucking hug
all he left me was a reminder of the beatings.
When enraged, he took it out on my mom
night after night he tried to hit her
like a coward he blamed it on us
we were just kids, a couple of punks.
I got school in the morning
it's hard to focus because this asshole's starting up
my spirits lift when I walk (to school)
because tonight we come back to the same.
[Chorus]
My son was there laying on the floor
he died from the cold and starvation
I placed two coins in his hands
to go and buy me more wine.
Every Sunday at church I have an idea
for what my mom prays for
between us brother we don't talk about it
but the feeling between us is the same.
And there's no one to help us, faith is running out
instead of being responsible, he's getting drunk
we can't go on like this forever
and lately, this has to come to an end.
From Monday to Sunday
it's always the same, we have to deal with enemy8
I see strange things, both good and bad
I spent my time in the streets to avoid the fighting9
I'm gonna play with my friends, they're all restless
they might be going through the same thing
but I won't tell them anything because in school
they might laugh at me.
[Chorus]
I lost my son because I was a drunk
and my wife whom I loved so much
I want to ask all the parents out there
to never do the same10 to their children.
1. lit. 'on out tip toes'.2. lit. 'I see that my mom doesn't look like she's in love anymore'3. with tears4. lit. 'bitter'5. lit. 'until I almost killed him'.6. lit. 'get out of the house/into the street'7. lit. 'to break (punch him in the mouth) his mouth'8. lit. 'the evil of the enemy9. lit. 'battles/fights'/10. lit. 'do bad'