I am not afraid
to say that I betrayed you.
Out of pure laziness,
out of pure sadness;
That, between you
and the Devil,
I chose the most comfortable.
But all of that
is not why I feel guilty,
my dear friend.
I am not afraid to say
that you scare me;
With your hope
and your great sense of honor.
You make me want to
destroy it all,
to tear off
that beautiful smile.
Yet even all that isn't why
I feel guilty -
that's the worst part.
I feel guilty
because I'm used to it.
It's the only thing
that I can do with total certainty.
It's reassuring
to think that I am sure,
to not be wrong,
when he brings up these issues
of my great guilt.
I am not afraid
To admit that I have cheated
I have sold the purest of my thoughts
at the market.
I would love to drop
this whole idea of "truth",
And keep as my guide
only pleasure and guilt.