La complainte du progrès [Les Arts ménagers] [English translation]

Formally, to make his court, 1

We would discuss our love

To better prove his lust

We would offer our hearts

But now, it has changed a lot.

This changes, that changes 2

To seduce the dear angel

We have to slip our ear

Oh Gudule! 3

Come and kiss me!

And I will give you:

A fridge,

A beautiful scooter,

A fancy food processor, 4

A Dunlopillo, 5

A fancy cooker,

with a glass oven,

A zillion cutlery,

And cake shovels. 6

A blender 7

to make the vinaigrette,

A gorgeous ventilator,

To take away the odors. 8

Heated-blankets,

A waffle gun, 9

A plane for two,

And together we’ll be happy!

Formerly, when he arrived,

We would worry

That the gloomy air around us would leave

Into the dishes

Now what do you want!

Life is so expensive!

You said: go to your mother’s place!

And you would keep it all!

Oh Gudule!

Apologize!

Or I will take back,

My fridge,

My cutlery cabinet,

My iron sink,

My oil stove, 10

My wax shoes,

My iron-slugs,

My ice stools,

And my hunting dogs. 11

My blender,

The filthy trash,

And the french-fry cutter!

With the towel warmers,

With the potato cannons, 12

The ripe tomatoes,

The chicken filet.

But very, very quickly,

We get a visit,

From a sweet little one

That you offered us a heart

So we cave,

Because he have to help you,

And we will live like this,

Until next time,

And we will live like this,

Until next time,

And we will live like this. 13

1. When he says formally he is using it like an archaism, what it means is that this is what used to happen, back in the past, the old ways of it. 2. Made a bit more sense in English that way3. A French name, presumably who the man in question is trying to seduce 4. Atomixer is NOT a real word, however, it is a made up word describing food processors. Given the theming of the song, this made sense with him saying “a fancy food processor 5. Unless the word has changed, he is talking about the fancy pillow company6. Makes more sense than cake shovles7. I know this means Turnstile/revolving door, however with the next line being “To make the vinaigrette”, it makes a lot more sense saying blender8. Yes, again, I am making assumptions for sanity. This line literally translates to “To eat the odor”, well, the ventilator does that, literally, but it sounds weird saying that a ventilator is eating odors, it makes more sense it takes them away 9. Some antique from the French Cavalry in WWI, very rare project between the French and the Belgians, wasn’t until the Maginot line that they would be seen again. I kid. Not too sure here, another over-exaggerated sentiment I’m assuming. Also, desole for that horrible joke. 10. That sounds dangerous11. I’m assuming dogs because he is saying “Hunting Rascals” not too sure though if a native could help me on this that would be great 12. Alas! Another very rare weapon from the French in WWI! Seen mostly next to the blue and red uniformed French soldiers marching in a single line, firing their ~51mm spuds at the enemies. It was a war of nutrition after all…13. He is talking about a child here, that a child has come, and they have to give in and accept the child’s heart because, well, you’re jerk parent for not doing so.