Kunst des Bitens Reloaded [English translation]

[Max Giermann1 doing a Stefan Raab2 impression:]

Soooo, ladies and gentlemen, um, yeah, I don't know if You've heard about this but

Take a look at this:

Rapper imitates recitative-colleagues, yes!

Unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah, what's up with that? We just... don't.... know!

[Pillath's voice]

And I cry out to the heavens

Look! Someone's writing honor here with a capital E

Fuck I'm so fly, almost weightless

Plus you've got a hard fate-- 'cause your old lady blows

Shit I pimp your bitch perversely in a Steelers jersey3

The Ruhrpott4 is back, we're waking you up now, daydreamer

And you only go after the defenseless like a grave-robber

Your pearl chews my sack until I splat

Fucker homey, yeah, your dick is a joke that fell flat!

(Yes sir!)

[Max Giermann:]

I know, right?

[Caspar's voice:]

I'm lying in the woods, so cold I'm almost frozen

I'm losing my grip, I've hit rock bottom

I've got to get out of here, my way out is straight up

The first rapper in the game whose pants don't bunch up

They didn't want to, but they had to dub him a knight

A chip of the day covers the cuts in the arm5

Blurred light, a new beginning, pounding joy

And if it gets too hot here, then I'll have to step back farther from the sun

(Wooow)

[Max Giermann:]

Yes, sensational!

[Farid Bang's voice:]

Rappers run away and hide somewhere on Düsseldorfer square6

Jenny and Natasha sit square on top of the Düsseldorfer7

There are lots of holes to plug, just like a power bar

Frankie can't even afford a nice brooch

Nose-breaker, street-rapper, see I don't pay any taxes

Punch gays8 and people's guts, and I'm not even mad

The asphalt-banger, I walk over corpses

'Cause they're all just trash, kind of like a driver's license

(Heyyyyyy)

[Max Giermann:]

That's right, understand?

[Kaas's voice:]

You've been waiting for it so long, you've heard a lot about it

But I live in such a wonderful world

And half of the happiness and the boundless love in me

I share with my friends, relatives, and someday with my child

And my kid will be guarded by an army of unicorns

And a rainbow-colored fairy's flying me up 'cause I want to go much higher

Now you've got these nice rappers, not in the classroom

But up on the stage, do they hear my voice too?

[Max Giermann:]

Or his Stryker,9 huh?

[Chakuza's voice:]

I sit at home while Rapper Party's doing it in their shuttle bus

But tell me how I'm supposed to laugh, when I've still got to struggle

In these cold times you've got no power either, too bad

That's why I rap and why I'm writing down these lines

These lines make records when Cobra bounces in the city

You fags8 would rather play with each other and watch Mickey Mouse

The kids are watching in Germany, Austria and Switzerland

And then the monster appears, junior, I kill for my meat

[Max Giermann:]

Yeah, I guess that was Peter Maffay,10right?

[Morlock Dilemma's voice:]

I come with a heavy crew, we make our rounds

Then drive to your girl, every hour

The tears run down that slut's face

We makes skulls hum

And if you want to plug that hole after this treatment

You'll need a penis-pump

But she was found on the bottom of a lake

Looking like she'd downed a vodka and redbull every ten seconds, yeah

I had so many bitches per night

I sound more enchanting than the Bremen musicians11

[Max Giermann:]

Soo, then I have one more for you here:

[Haftbefehl's voice:]

Wut up, I've got yay12 or coke

Fuck Verona Pooth,13 System Overload14

You're helpless, bro, I sell hashish

Three thousand euros, my wallet rustles

I chrome-plate white powder15

Turkish gangsters clap me on the shoulder

Shut your mouth, make me a sandwich16

Offenbach17 cocaine king

Punch your teeth, you need denture adhesive

[Alligatoah:]

They're all EXITED, 'cause Kaliba is BACK

I imitate the rest, the Max Giermann of rap

And you all only have an individual style

But at the same time I've mastered the art of counterfeiting

That comes easily to me, like a card trick

You're gangsters, but I'm the real thief

And don't look at it the wrong way, I've got no beef with all these rappers

But the challenge still stands, who can bite better?!

(Noooo-one!)

1. A German comedian and actor famous for voice impressions.2. A German producer, TV personality, and singer3. Actually an FC Schalke jersey4. Germany's coal- and iron-producing region5. This makes no sense to me so I must be missing something here.6. The town square of the city of Düsseldorf7. A guy from Düsseldorf8. a. b. I'm not a fan of homophobia in rap, I'm just the translator here.9. "Stummel" could have many meanings, but this is the one I'm going with. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stryker10. Who could you even compare him to? I want to say Peter Frampton but that would be an insult and anyway you kids don't know who that is. Maffay holds the German record for the most number one albums. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Maffay11. From a fairy-tale about a donkey, a rooster, etc. that band together and make their living as musicians by scaring the *&%# out of people. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Town_Musicians_of_Bremen12. Strangely, the only meaning I can find for 'yay' is cocaine.13. A celebrity! See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verona_Pooth14. Maybe a reference to this guy? http://partyflock.nl/artist/54882:System-Overload15. I'm just guessing here, but probably "I turn snow into silver" i.e. "I make money out of cocaine."16. I'm just guessing here. Literally "make turkey for me."17. Haftbefehl's hometown, I think.