Kul i jul [English translation]

Not only has this grey, dark, dreary autumn

Kept me in the grip of depression for so long

Now Christmas is slowly but surely sneaking up on me

And isn't it the worst of all conceivable kinds?

You can already see the gnome's brisk face everywhere in October

And glitter and stars decorate the lights in every store

The lonely people are now even lonelier in the company of pickled herring

And the other people have a guilty conscience; like they're not enough

Who should we celebrate Christmas with - your folks or mine?

Oh, so you mean that your family is more important than mine!

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; what a fucking thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; God, what a thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; it's such a thrill!

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; what a fucking thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; how nice with all the stress and hassle

The snow, grey from exhaust fumes, is still lying on the roof

And not even stupid, little Santa is awake

So I guess I'll have to go and shop for Christmas gifts myself

And throw my powerless self onto the stress's and pressure's carousel

Because each year you think:

"Next year, I'll shop for Christmas gifts earlier!"

And that's how I'm able to sit back and relax during Christmas

But oh, how I deceive myself, because the same thing always happens,

year after year.

When Christmas is finally over, you're nothing but a broke, nervous wreck,

One step closer to stomach ulcers.

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; what a fucking thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; God, what a thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; it's such a thrill!

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; what a fucking thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and how ugly Santa is!

You agree to only buy gifts for the little ones

But everyone's already bought 'em for each other when Christmas finally comes

If I buy one for him, I'll have to buy one for her,

And if they get two packages, well, then Svenne has to get the same amount

Oh, I can't just bring that small thing because

it's probably too cheap

The shopping hysteria will even drive the calmest person crazy

Your relatives pretend to be happy about the presents that they actually got

But, as soon as everyone's left, they're thrown away

The kids tear apart the packages in two seconds, and then cry:

"Aren't there more?"

No, my dear children, the only thing that's left is the big

hole in my wallet that you never get to see

Everything imaginable is heaved onto the table

And you eat until you throw up, or get a stomach ache

And the problems don't end there because, guess what comes next?

Yeah, it will take months before you can wear those pants again

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; what a fucking thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; God, what a thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas; it's such a thrill!

With Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, how ugly Santa is!

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, lock him up in a shed!