Kontrolle/Schlaf [English translation]

It was never just a look or song,

only a death wish just to see who would come

and until the turning point there

was my end,

dreams are words,

which the mouth doesn’t dare think.

Sometimes I think, look please:

You were my everything;

my Ritalin, 1

the nights filled with tears with the Springsteen CDs; 2

the things, which you never had as a child; plus the courage to recognize the void in the middle

of an open-armed dance on a burning bridge. 3

We were getting on with life, but a pile of misery,

perhaps the victory lies with just giving up;

let’s dance and flee.

Synchronization sparks moments to the beat of the music; stomping to the beat, clapping to the song,

pushing and pulling,

clinging to sweet melancholy.

Sweetheart, don’t ask; let’s just keep going

and act as if there’s no end to the world,

but what a Kodak moment when your heart shatters.4

I’m next to you blurred; I’m looking to the left, annoyed.

Exactly, Mr. Superstar, I curse the year.

One foot in the grave,

I never asked for this talent,

keep on screaming,

just don’t wake me if I finally sleep.

This medication doesn’t do any good. 5

I’m still here, but at least everything’s numb.

Woken up, her again

acting as if it would have bothered me again. 6

Doctor, what do I have to say (to them) in the store

so I finally get the good stuff?

It’s not a joke, still just a trip

to finally kill Cas, and Benjamin too.

(I) want to go to the fucking light.

What do I pay rental fees for?

I’d do it myself, but I’m too much of a coward.

No doors, (just) barred glass.

The dream will sell better as it is.

What fame and glory?

Admittedly, I can meanwhile understand Ian Curtis

well. (I) try to see the good things in life, 7

but depression never seems to be out of style.

Sweetheart, leave it alone.

The wounds were always there,

there’s no Band-Aid in the world which will cover it 8

‘cause this blood was always there.

And when it was about us, there was no moon;

just the sun about to set.

I always wanted to write great songs,

but the sound of my voice never fit.

I always wanted to write the great songs,

but you never liked the sound of my voice,

Sweetheart.

1. Ritalin is a trademarked preparation of methylphenidate, used to treat attention deficit disorder in children, but also depression.2. Straight translastion: Platten = records.3. “Open-armed dance” is a German reference to “open arms” which means “slashed wrists” in English. The dance is referenced again later with “let's dance and flee,” perhaps meaning “bleed with me and let's flee.”4. Kodak Moment = a rare, one-time moment that is captured by a picture, or should have been captured by a picture. Source: Urban Dictionary; see comments.5. bringen ’nen Scheiß = es zu nichts bringen = doesn’t do any good.6. es macht mir etwas aus = stören = to bother someone.7. Straight translation: Versuch das Leben rosig zu sehen = (I) try to see life rosey.8. Band-Aid: genericized trademark for any adhesive bandage in the United States. Source: Wikipedia