Kinder [English translation]

I don't like kids too much

I'm really sorry

One scribbles all over the walls

and another cries/screams

one wildly throws lego around

out of rigid plastic containers

however what I find the worst

are the proud parents.

What gets on my nerves

Proud parents can't communicate normally

In the middle of the conversation they crawl on all fours.

And they talk at length about the colour and weight

of the contents in their baby's nappies, until one pukes.

Last saturday Anna slept through (the night) until shortly before eight

It's hardly believable. And what else has she done

Our Flori doesn't eat much. That is not healthy

If you want to see someone eat then just buy yourself a dog.

don't take it the wrong way

When at times I have to hold one

that almost kills me.

Baby nappies stink

also out of good refuse containers

I find proud parents even worse than many

dog owners who say to me: Oh he only wants to play.

One can't really visit proud parents

unless one has the desire to bake cakes for two hours.

Laura has a very sweet round tummy

Well I congratulate (you) but I have that too.

Laura can already say 'daddy' That is great

I look a Laura's mum and ask her: "To whom?"

Proud parents become even worse (when they are) in a group

That means war in the paediatrician's waiting room

And brag about which baby already as he most teeth!

Proud parents unfortunately don't go out in the evenings anymore

on the contrary they say "We prefer (to be) at home anyway"

When one's in luck, they show Mouse TV

and they pronounce everything like the Teletubbies.

One poops in his nappy

Should I be tolerant?

No worries. I can do it.

If they were my own

everything would be different.