John Holmes [una vita per il cinema] [English translation]

When I was a kid, everybody would make fun of me

Because of my penis’ size1

And I didn’t feel well

I was in pain because of my penis

But that’s not a problem anymore

Yes, because my penis wins me bread

I’ve become a great actor

And, though I’m a love slave

I bought myself a motorbike

And now I’m a bike slave

I don’t exercise anymore 2

Actually, I only ride my bike

But now I’m a legend

I’ve made silent movies popular again

Because I’m always silent

And if you see my videos

I’m sure you’ll agree with us

This is the truth

John Holmes, a life in movies

John Holmes, a life in bikes

John Holmes, a life in movies

John Holmes, a life in bikes

Thirty centimeters of artistic size

Critics agree about the fact

That I’m dirty 3

Because they don’t understand

I don’t speak because I’m in ecstasy

And my face is never shown

But I’m idolized by the audience

And now I’m a legend

I’ve made silent movies popular again

Because I’m always silent

And if I were blind

I’d had made Czech movies popular again 4

And if I were mmm

I’d had made mmmovies

They say I make pitiful movies

Because I work with my penis 5

And so my penis wins me bread

My penis wins me the bike, indeed

But the bike gives me no pain

Because it works well

Yes, the bike gives me no pain

Because it works well

John Holmes, a life in movies

John Holmes, a life in bikes

John Holmes, a life in movies

John Holmes, a life in bikes

1. a number of puns over the word "pene", which means "penis", but also "pains". Other words similar to "pene" used here are "bene" = "well", "pane" = "bread", "pone" = "(a problem) arises"2. "moto" = "motorbike", but also "physical excercise". Other puns on this word in the next verses are with "mito" = "legend" and "muto" = "silent".3. pun on "su di ciò" (= "about the fact") and "sudicio" ("dirty")4. a pun on "cieco" = "blind" and "ceco" = "Czech".5. a pun on "penoso" = "pitiful" and once again "pene" = "penis"