Jesus: The Missing Years lyrics

(Spoken)

I got the idea for this song, I guess someone was

telling me at a party once, a couple years back, I

don't know how we got around to this conversation,

but somebody started telling me that there was all

these missing years in the life of Jesus. He was missing

from the time he was 12 until he was 30.

And I said: "You mean like nobody knew where he was?"

And he said: "Nobody." So that kind of like stuck in the

back of my mind, you know.

I thought...nobody. One of the most influential

and controversial figures in the history of mankind

and nobody knows where he was for 18 years.

I snuck away on a fishing trip once with this waitress

for a couple of days, and by the time we got back to

Nashville, everybody knew where we were.

Jesus... the missing years

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was raining, and it was cold

West Bethlehem was no place for a 12-year old

So he packed his bag and he headed out

To find out what the world's about

He went to France, he went to Spain

He found love, he found pain

He found stores, so he started to shop

But he had no money, so he got in trouble with a cop

Kids in trouble with the cops

From Israel didn't have no home,

So he cut his hair and he moved to Rome

It was there he met his Irish bride

And they rented a flat on the lower east side

Of Rome...Italy that is

Music publishers, book binders,

Bible belters, money changers,

Spoon benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks

Charley bought some popcorn

And Billy bought a car

Someone almost bought the farm

But they didn't go that far

And things shut down at midnight

At least around here, they do

'Cause we all reside down the block

Inside at 23 Skidoo.

Wine was flowing, so were beers

So Jesus found his missing years

He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"

So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie

On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel Without a Cause"

He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus

Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind

He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind

You see, him and the wife wasn't getting along

So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song

Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"

But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church

At least not back then, anyhow

Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit

So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and

A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it

He discovered the Beatles

And he recorded with the Stones

Once He even opened up a three-way package

In Southern California for old George Jones

Charley bought some popcorn

And Billy bought a car

Someone almost bought the farm

But they didn't go that far

And things shut down at midnight

At least around here, they do

'Cause we all reside down the block

Inside at 23 Skidoo.

The years went by like sweet little days

With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais

When he woke up he was seventeen

The world was angry, the world was mean

Why, the man down the street

And the kid on the stoop

All agreed that life stank

All the world smelled like poop...

Baby poop that is...the worst kind

So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb

Headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home

But when he got there, the cupboard was bare

Except for an old black man with a fishing rod

He said: "What are you gonna be when you grow up?"

Jesus said: "God"

Oh my God, what have I got myself into?

I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood

They're gonna kill me Mama, they don't like me, Bud.

So Jesus went to Heaven

And He went there awful quick

All them people killed him, and he wasn't even sick

So come and gather around me, my contemporary peers

And I'll tell you all the story of

Jesus...The Missing Years

Charley bought some popcorn

And Billy bought a car

Someone almost bought the farm

But they didn't go that far

And things shut down at midnight

At least around here, they do

'Cause we all reside down the block

Inside at 23 Skidoo

We all reside down the block

Inside at 23 Skidoo