(Spoken)
I got the idea for this song, I guess someone was
telling me at a party once, a couple years back, I
don't know how we got around to this conversation,
but somebody started telling me that there was all
these missing years in the life of Jesus. He was missing
from the time he was 12 until he was 30.
And I said: "You mean like nobody knew where he was?"
And he said: "Nobody." So that kind of like stuck in the
back of my mind, you know.
I thought...nobody. One of the most influential
and controversial figures in the history of mankind
and nobody knows where he was for 18 years.
I snuck away on a fishing trip once with this waitress
for a couple of days, and by the time we got back to
Nashville, everybody knew where we were.
Jesus... the missing years
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was raining, and it was cold
West Bethlehem was no place for a 12-year old
So he packed his bag and he headed out
To find out what the world's about
He went to France, he went to Spain
He found love, he found pain
He found stores, so he started to shop
But he had no money, so he got in trouble with a cop
Kids in trouble with the cops
From Israel didn't have no home,
So he cut his hair and he moved to Rome
It was there he met his Irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side
Of Rome...Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders,
Bible belters, money changers,
Spoon benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks
Charley bought some popcorn
And Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight
At least around here, they do
'Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo.
Wine was flowing, so were beers
So Jesus found his missing years
He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"
So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie
On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel Without a Cause"
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind
You see, him and the wife wasn't getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church
At least not back then, anyhow
Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with the Stones
Once He even opened up a three-way package
In Southern California for old George Jones
Charley bought some popcorn
And Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight
At least around here, they do
'Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo.
The years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry, the world was mean
Why, the man down the street
And the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank
All the world smelled like poop...
Baby poop that is...the worst kind
So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb
Headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home
But when he got there, the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said: "What are you gonna be when you grow up?"
Jesus said: "God"
Oh my God, what have I got myself into?
I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood
They're gonna kill me Mama, they don't like me, Bud.
So Jesus went to Heaven
And He went there awful quick
All them people killed him, and he wasn't even sick
So come and gather around me, my contemporary peers
And I'll tell you all the story of
Jesus...The Missing Years
Charley bought some popcorn
And Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
And things shut down at midnight
At least around here, they do
'Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo
We all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo