[JASON]
Whizzer, hey!
Suddenly it all came clear
I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here!
[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
Surprise!
[MARVIN]
This was Jason's brilliant idea!
And I brought the prayer shawl
[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
[MENDEL]
Don't you move
Everything will soon be great
Close your eyes
While we redecorate
[CORDELIA]
I'll unwrap the billion hors d'oeuvres
And someone, please, eat them
[TRINA]
Photo
[ALL]
It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
[TRINA]
Lovely, flowers make things lovely
Champagne makes things lovely, too
Everything's amiss
[MENDEL]
Drink up!
Anyone for bubbly?
[TRINA]
Probably, it's doubly useful at a time like this
Cheers
[MENDEL AND WHIZZER]
Cheers
[TRINA]
And aren't things lovely?
I feel more helpless than I have in years
[MARVIN]
Try this on
Mendel, get this thing in gear
[WHIZZER]
Please excuse me if I interfere
But I feel that, since I'm the host
It's me who should toast him
[WHIZZER]
To Jason's bar mitzvah!
[CHARLOTTE]
I notified the nurses
Told them please to not intrude
[CORDELIA]
I passed around the food
And dumped some extra food
'Cause, Lord knows, we've got plenty
[CHARLOTTE]
She's cooked for some 200 guests
[CORDELIA]
We number not that many
Actually... we're seven
[CHARLOTTE]
Maybe it's not dumb
The way this whole thing ends
The food tastes really yummy
[CORDELIA]
Oh, mummy
[TRINA]
Lovely
[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]
The flowers seem to sparkle
The candelabra sets the tone
[TRINA]
I must make things
[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]
The wine is very soothing
[TRINA]
Lovely
[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]
Soothes the "something, something"
Someone needed soothing
[TRINA]
Put everything
[CHARLOTTE]
I think, perhaps, I'm overdressed
[TRINA]
In its place
[CORDELIA]
I think, perhaps, it doesn't matter
[TRINA]
Ready for the
[CORDELIA]
That you are
[TRINA]
Band
[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]
Here we are
Jason's bar mitzvah looks
Like the books say it should
[TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA]
Cheers
[TRINA]
And aren't things lovely?
[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]
Everything is lovely
[TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA]
I feel more helpless than I have in years
[MENDEL AND WHIZZER]
Here he comes
[MENDEL]
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun
Fix his tie
Trina, try
To make him smile more
[WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
Don't know why
But he looks like Marvin
[MARVIN]
How did you turn out so great?
Who do I thank for the man you've turned into?
Kid, do you know
How proud I am?
If I don't show
How proud I am...
You hold my dreams
Kid, I burst at the seams
'Cause of you
[MENDEL]
Son of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
Son of Marvin, Son of Trina, Son of Whizzer, Son of Mendel
[MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
And godchild to the lesbians from next door
[MENDEL]
Sing
Oh, sing
Oh, sing
[JASON]
Vie-eme-low yea-o-leh
Heh-oh-non vi-low
Ah-yis-is-ooh ay-ysi-ro-ale
Ha-ooh low toe vo-o-meem aboh