Ireland lyrics

(Paulette, spoken)

Elle, do you know the number one reason behind all bad hair decisions?

Love!

(Paulette, sung)

You're lost without your love.

You're heart is on the floor.

(Paulette, spoken)

I can help you.

(Paulette, sung)

I've been there before.

When I need to relax,

I just put on some tracks

from this CD I bought for the store.

(Paulette, spoken)

Isn't that relaxin'?

It's called "CELTIC MOODS"!

(Paulette, sung)

When I'm lonely or feeling dejected,

I play this and it never fails.

I pretend like I'm in Ireland,

with Enya and the whales.

When my telephone gets disconnected

or I spend every night alone,

I pretend like I'm in Ireland

where the Irish bagpipes drone.

Smell the grass as a rainstorm is endin'.

People smile while I stroll pass their farms

with a red-headed sailor named Brendan.

And we dance without moving our arms.

In bar once I met this guy Dewey

and he bought me like fourteen beers.

And he told me that he was from Ireland.

So I lived with him ten years.

If I squinted he looked like my sailor

through my boozy, delusional fog.

But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla,

took my trailer and took my dog.

In Ireland they know how to love you.

You embrace in the misty Irish breeze.

And if your Irish boy tires of you,

you're allowed to shoot him in the knees.

Hey! You look like that poster for Ireland:

long blonde hair and that sweet sunny face.

Oh no wait, that's the poster for Sweden.

Oh screw it, I'll never see either place.

But a girl sweet as you has a future.

(Paulette, spoken)

You have hope.

(Paulette, sung)

As each new day dawns,

girls like you always get to see Ireland.

Give my love to the leprechauns.