Elijah went out for a walk
To kick ass of the foes
He sees the stone standing
And writing on it reads:
"If you go straight - you will find a wife
If you go right - your horse will die
If you move left - you yourself will die"
Elijah scratched his dick against his shield.
Elijah from Murom is a tough guy
Elijah from Murom beat them all
Elijah will protect russian ppl
Elijah from Murom will kick everyone's ass
Elijah went left: there's a house standing there
And there's a witch in the house
He put her in a doggy position
Fucked her and everything is all right.
Elijah went right: there is Nightingale The Robber there
and he whistles to everyone
"Hey, Nightingale, do you know me?
You will become a faggot now"
Elijah went straight: there's a wife there.
"Why the fuck do i need you?
I will better drink 10 bottles of vodka
And will go kick asses of tatars" [historic foes of russians]