Wait a moment before sending the sun away
and leaving me all by myself with the shadow;
on the wall, your cross looks like it’s swinging
when I light up the fireplace.1
My armchair knows my weight,
but what it’s buckling under, is this memory
that comes here with its bagpipe-like wind
to prevent me from sleeping.
And if I look at this leather glove
with a wooden fist underneath it,
I wonder whether the hand I’ve lost
is still firing.
Or, maybe it was a gift from you,
ripping off of me that wretched hand
that prayed not to get killed,
and shot shot shot
other people who were shooting;
and shot shot shot
other people who were praying.
I had never killed, not even a pheasant,
and even ants I’ve always treated well.
There were a lot of us loaded on that train,
like fallen leaves,2
and we learned geography
by counting every burning place,
and the ash of all of Europe
is still in my mouth.
For our honeymoon with death,
we got Nikolaevka,3
and we toasted with ice and fire,
and our faces in the mud.
And the bride dressed in black
took so many people to her altar,
and while she was taking my hand
she turned her face away
towards the people she kissed;
yet, she left her ring
to this man who was coming back.4
Your cross always has three nails,
and mine has one less, obviously,5
but I’m here composing the same prayer,
like every evening;
I write it to you with unspilled blood
and a black pen.6
1. The veteran is talking to Jesus, that is, to a crucifix hanging on the wall.2. See the poem Soldati {Soldiers} by Giuseppe Ungaretti, written during World War I.3. Nikolaevka is a Russian village where a battle was fought in January 1943; it was a battle between the Axis (Italy, Germany, Hungary) and the Soviet Union. The battle outcome was positive for the Axis only in the sense that they managed to break out of the Soviet encirclement and avoid a complete defeat; about two thirds (40,000 soldiers) of the Italians were killed or captured.4. Brides always dress in white.
The black bride is death instead, and those whom she’s taking to the altar are the victims of the war. The altar is not that of marriage, it’s that of human sacrifices, as in pagan rites.
However, death has just barely spared the veteran: right when she was going to marry him, she turned to kiss (kill) other soldiers. The veteran got his wedding ring anyway: although he came back from war, the weight of guilt has killed him inside.5. Jesus was nailed to the cross: a nail for each hand, and one for his feet.
The veteran is missing a hand, so only two nails would be needed for him.6. penna = pen, feather, quill.
penna nera {black pen} also means "black feather", which is the symbol of the alpini, worn on their hats. They are corps of the Italian army, and take their name from the Alps (they are mostly, but not exclusively, involved in mountain operations). They were the main Italian corps for the Russian campaign during World War II.