There are people who can dance
I'm not one of them
Because I have two feet
Dancing is taboo for me
On a Good-Dancer-Scale
Divided up from one to ten
I'd be at minus seven
Just so we understand each other
Like Joe Cocker on speed
Always against the beat
I thrash my limbs about
And don't know what's happening to me
Is that your arse or mine
That's blocking my way here?
Is that your arse or mine?
I don't know who's it is
Is that your arse or mine?
I've lost the view
And I'll say one thing's perfectly certain
I was not born to dance
Hey hey hey
I'm rich, I look good
I play guitar in a band
But when it comes to dancing*
Have I already mentioned that?
When God shared out the feeling for rhythm
I was probably not here
And to see that one can't dance without that
One looks at me
I stagger about like I'm frozen
My ears are throbbing
I've lost control over all my body parts
Is that your arse or mine
That's blocking my way here?
Is that your arse or mine?
I don't know who's it is
Is that your arse or mine?
It really is a fat thing
And one thing's not up for discussion:
Of dancing, I am not the king
Hey hey hey
Dancing and I, we're like fire and ice
When I step onto the dance floor
I just screw up
I like the music
And I just tell myself to have courage
My problem is as follows:
I don't have rhythm in my blood
Is that your arse or mine
That's blocking my way here?
Is that your arse or mine?
I don't know who's it is
Is that your arse or mine?
I thought mine was smaller
Is that your arse or mine?
Your arse or mine?
Is that your arse or mine
That's moving so un-rhythmically?
Is that your arse or mine?
That's casting such shadows here
Is that your arse or mine?
Where is forwards where is backwards?
And I'll say one thing's perfectly certain
I was not born to dance