I Shall Be Free lyrics

Well, I took me a woman late last night

I’s three-fourths drunk, she looked uptight

She took off her wheel, took off her bell

Took off her wig, said, “How do I smell?"

I hot-footed it . . . bare-naked . . .

Out the window!

Well, sometimes I might get drunk

Walk like a duck and stomp like a skunk

Don’t hurt me none, don’t hurt my pride

’Cause I got my little lady right by my side

(Right there

Proud as can be)

I’s out there paintin’ on the old woodshed

When a can a black paint it fell on my head

I went down to scrub and rub

But I had to sit in back of the tub

(Cost a quarter

And I had to get out quick . . .

Someone wanted to come in and take a sauna)

Well, my telephone rang it would not stop

It’s President Kennedy callin’ me up

He said, “My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?”

I said, “My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot

Anita Ekberg

Sophia Loren”

(Put ’em all in the same room with Ernest Borgnine!)

Well, I got a woman sleeps on a cot

She yells and hollers and squeals a lot

Licks my face and tickles my ear

Bends me over and buys me beer

(She’s a honeymooner

A June crooner

A spoon feeder

And a natural leader)

Oh, there ain’t no use in me workin’ so heavy

I got a woman who works on the levee

Pumping that water up to her neck

Every week she sends me a monthly check

(She’s a humdinger

Folk singer

Dead ringer

For a thing-a-muh jigger)

Late one day in the middle of the week

Eyes were closed I was half asleep

I chased me a woman up the hill

Right in the middle of an air-raid drill

It was Little Bo Peep!

(I jumped a fallout shelter

I jumped a bean stalk

I jumped a Ferris wheel)

Now, the man on the stand he wants my vote

He’s a-runnin’ for office on the ballot note

He’s out there preachin’ in front of the steeple

Tellin’ me he loves all kinds-a people

(He’s eatin’ bagels

He’s eatin’ pizza

He’s eatin’ chitlins

He’s eatin’ bullshit!)

Oh, set me down on a television floor

I’ll flip the channel to number four

Out of the shower comes a grown-up man

With a bottle of hair oil in his hand

(It’s that greasy kid stuff

What I want to know, Mr. Football Man, is

What do you do about Willy Mays and Yul Brynner

Charles de Gaulle

And Robert Louis Stevenson?)

Well, the funniest woman I ever seen

Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean

She takes about fifteen baths a day

Wants me to grow a cigar on my face

(She’s a little bit heavy!)

Well, ask me why I’m drunk alla time

It levels my head and eases my mind

I just walk along and stroll and sing

I see better days and I do better things

(I catch dinosaurs

I make love to Elizabeth Taylor . . .

Catch hell from Richard Burton!)