I Need a Jew lyrics

Nothing else has worked so far

So I'll wish upon a star

Wondrous dancing speck of light

I need a Jew

Lois makes me take the rap

'Cause our checkbook looks like crap

Since I can't give her a slap

I need a Jew

Where to find

A Baum or Stien or Stein

To teach me how to whine

And do my taxes

Though by many they're abhorred

Hebrew people I've adored

Even though they killed my lord

I need a Jew

Max: Hi, my name's Max Weinstein, my car just broke down, may I use your phone?

Peter: Now my troubles are all through

I have a Jew

Max: Hey!