1
They play dice in lively bunches,
among crowds of well-paid hookers;
and at 4 in the afternoon
they send a slave for a survey:
he shall go to the forum and seek news,2
he shall report the conversations he hears,
how many people are against and how many people agree;
this is the life of magistrates.
Then, they head towards the square,
not to be blamed on flaccidity,
but in every alley along their way
they take to an amphora of vine.
And once they reach the forum, exhausted, they beckon
the witnesses and the disputants;
then, while those people are shouting themselves hoarse,
they take a break to urinate.
When they get back on their dais,
they claim they have heard everything;
then they gather for the judgment,
and there’s never a contention among them,
because they linger for an hour, talking
about Greek wines, about roasted and fried food,
about fat fish and thrushes on a roasting stick;
this is the life of magistrates.
1. This song was inspired by Caius Titus, Roman jurist of the II century C.E..2. Forum = public square of Roman cities, also used as a tribunal.