Grand-père [English translation]

Grandfather, singing, followed

the road which leads to a hundred years.

Death caught him in the corner of the woods

and killed him cruelly 1.

He had, during his life, given

so much happiness to his children

that in order to show him our gratitude for this

we did all we could for his funeral.

And off we ran as quick as we could

to get a coffin, but...

as we were short of cash,

the coffin dealer wouldn’t deal with us2.

“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,

at fair Suzie’s house, no cash, no philandering...3

dead inferior class people

are no part of my business4.”

Well now, from Grandad I’d inherited

a pair of pointed boots.

If anyone needs a kick in the ass

this pair hit its spot.

It’s since that time then that the fine fellow5, (X2)

Oh ! it’s not nice...

Oh ! it’s not polite...

has been cross-buttocked6.

Grandad,

don’t get upset,

we’ll get to overcome

all these people who impede happy burials.

The best thing to do, and the quickest,

so that the funeral could carry on,

was to limit our requirements

to a second-hand coffin7.

In exchange for a pot of honey we acquired

the four planks from a dead man who

was dreaming of offering some sweet things

to a soul-mate.

And off we ran as quick as we could

to get a hearse, but...

As we were short of cash,

the hearse agent wouldn’t deal with us.

“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,

at fair Suzie’s huse, no cash, no philandering...

dead inferior class people

are no part of my business.”

My boot set out, but I refuse

to say towards where,

that would embarrass the ladies

and I’ve no right to do that.

It’s since that time then that the fine fellow, (X2)

Oh ! it’s not nice...

Oh ! it’s not polite...

has been cross-buttocked.

Grandad,

don’t get upset,

we’ll get to overcome

all these people who impede happy burials.

The best thing to do, and the quickest,

so that the funeral could carry on,

was to carry the funereal burden

on our backs.

If he could have revived for a moment

Grandfather would have been happy

to go to his last resting place

like an emperor.

And off we ran as quick as we could

to get a holy water sprinkler, but...

As we were short of cash,

the clergyman wouldn’t deal with us8.

“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,

at fair Suzie’s house, no cash, no philandering...

dead inferior class people

are no part of my benediction.”

Even before the curate9

could let out a cry

I booted his arse in the name of the Father,

of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

It’s since that time then that the fine fellow, (X2)

Oh ! it’s not nice...

Oh ! it’s not polite...

has been cross-buttocked.

Grandad,

don’t get upset,

we’ll get to overcome

all these people who impede happy burials. (X2)

1. Le coup du père François was (in the 19th century) a method of robbery in which one bandit put a belt round the neck of the victim and used it to lift him (back to back) while a second bandit searched him for valuables - the victim being too occupied in not choking to death to use his hands to defend his possesions. It wasn't always fatal, but apparently the bandits didn't much care if it was or not. TLF describes it as "robbers' slang" in this entry:- Arg. des voleurs. Type d'agression où l'un des attaquants serre une courroie autour du cou de la victime et la maintient sur son dos tandis que son complice la fouille. Faire le coup du père François, p. ell., la faire au père François. D'étranges jeunes garçons, mal venus, aux gestes imprévus et rapides, simulaient entre eux des attaques de savate, des gestes d'étrangleurs et le coup du père François (BARRÈS, Sang, 1893, p. 113)2. literally: “the merchant received us with closed arms” – think “with open arms” and then substitute “closed” for “open”3. literally "no thighs"4. lit: are not within my jurisdiction5. lit: good apostle, it’s ironical use, means the opposite of what it says6. Brassens has changed a French phrase (literally "has one eye that swears at the other") that means “cross-eyed” and substituted “buttock” for “eye”; the idea seems to be that the kick has performed permanent and painful damage to the receiver’s behind7. I've been told that second hand coffins were available in Paris in the 1950s. Don't know whether to believe it, though8. this time the “merchant” is a low-grade clergyman, a curate not a vicar9. vicaire means curate, lower grade than vicar which in French would be the “curé”