It's a process
I'm just out here tryna do progress
I was hiding away from the trauma and all of the PTSD but now
I'm having panic attacks in my house
It's catching up to me when I'm out
I'm in a brand new AMG but I need to be in A&E so please someone tell me
how I'm supposed to be living in this world where I'm numb and there ain't no feeling
I've been begging my lord for the meaning of life cuz more time I don't feel no reason
I've been out here tryna find a wife round here but these ho*s just want me for cheating
And I'm trying not to deep it way too tough it's a little bit f*ck cuz I broke a heart with no shame
And she ain't never gonna feel my pain
I'm only hurting people cuz I've been hurt by people and that ain't okay
On God I'd be feeling ashamed sometimes
Break down in tears when i pray sometimes
I ask my Lord for the grave sometimes
That's nonsense though cuz I've been sinning more times and I didn't want smoke
But ain't nobody want smoke with a man who is willing to die
Look me in the eyes
And you'll see a big boy problem psychopathic
At times they think I'm a saviour
I ain't scared of death but I'm terrified to meet my maker
I ain't no dealer
But I've done what I done just to make my paper
I don't care about strangers
But if it's one of my own then I will not fail us
And i ain't no sailor
But I'll steer that ship to avoid all danger
I watched my own family overdose and I saved this life
But I can't lie
It don't make sense cuz I was selling them drugs just a few years later