[Freestyle] It's A Proccess lyrics

It's a process

I'm just out here tryna do progress

I was hiding away from the trauma and all of the PTSD but now

I'm having panic attacks in my house

It's catching up to me when I'm out

I'm in a brand new AMG but I need to be in A&E so please someone tell me

how I'm supposed to be living in this world where I'm numb and there ain't no feeling

I've been begging my lord for the meaning of life cuz more time I don't feel no reason

I've been out here tryna find a wife round here but these ho*s just want me for cheating

And I'm trying not to deep it way too tough it's a little bit f*ck cuz I broke a heart with no shame

And she ain't never gonna feel my pain

I'm only hurting people cuz I've been hurt by people and that ain't okay

On God I'd be feeling ashamed sometimes

Break down in tears when i pray sometimes

I ask my Lord for the grave sometimes

That's nonsense though cuz I've been sinning more times and I didn't want smoke

But ain't nobody want smoke with a man who is willing to die

Look me in the eyes

And you'll see a big boy problem psychopathic

At times they think I'm a saviour

I ain't scared of death but I'm terrified to meet my maker

I ain't no dealer

But I've done what I done just to make my paper

I don't care about strangers

But if it's one of my own then I will not fail us

And i ain't no sailor

But I'll steer that ship to avoid all danger

I watched my own family overdose and I saved this life

But I can't lie

It don't make sense cuz I was selling them drugs just a few years later