Should you settle down in the Sunshine State
You should know of its tangled fate
How the conquistador came to Florida
Long before it had a name
The medicine man of the Seminole
Knelt by the sacred flame
And cursed the soul of the conquistador
And his son, and his sons
And the young ones
Of the Florida Man
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man
Down at the mall where the boas crawl
Ted makes love to a concrete wall
His brother Red said his uncle Ned
Found Elvis in a loaf of bread
(Florida Man)
High on meth, there's little Beth
The neighbour's cat is on her breath
Dan dreams he's got red wings of fire
He's waking and shaking on a power wire
(Florida Man)
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man, Florida Man (He's cursed)
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man
Slim sees his face on a moonlit wave
He grabs a shovel and digs his own grave
Lee hates plate glass, he drives right through it
Said Alice's caterpillar made him do it
(Florida Man)
A Miami nurse snatches a purse
And drives down the freeway in reverse
Phil asks the cops to test his drugs
After they find him hiding under a rug
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man, Florida Man (He's cursed)
Florida Man, Florida Man
Florida Man
Don't you laugh, it could be you
The Florida curse always comes true
You can jeer, but you don't understand
Any fragile soul can be a Florida Man