[My Name Is (1999)]
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!
[The Real Slim Shady (2000)]
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[scratches] "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupe
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Without Me (2002)]
I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin' the table while he's operating (hey!)
You waited this long, now stop debating
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits; fuck you, Debbie!
[My Band (2004)]
I don't know dude...
I think everyone's all jealous and shit cuz I'm like the lead singer of a band dude...
And I think everyone's got a fuckin problem with me dude...
And they need to take it up with me after the show...
Because...
These chicks don't even know the name of my band...
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man...
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
So I get off stage right and drop the mic
Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like
"Sup ladies, my name's Slim Shady.
I'm the lead singer in D12 baby"
They're all like "Oh my god it's him"
"Becky oh my fuckin' god it's Eminem"
"I swear to fuckin god dude you fuckin rock"
"Please Marshall please let me suck your cock"
And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous
Especially when I drop the beat and do my acapellas
All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes
Throw their bras and their shirt and their panties on stage
So like every single night they pick a fight with me
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me
Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me
Yesterday Kuniva tried to pull a knife on me
Cause I told him Jessica Alba's my wife to be
This rock star shit, it's the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me because
[Berzerk (2013)]
Now this shit's about to kick off, this party looks wack
Let's take it back to straight hip-hop and start it from scratch
I'm 'bout to bloody this track up, everybody get back
That's why my pen needs a pad cause my rhymes on the ra-hag
Just like I did with addiction I'm 'bout to kick it
Like a magician, critics I turn to crickets
Got 'em still on the fence whether to pick it
But quick to get it impaled when I tell 'em stick it
So sick I'm looking pale, oh that's my pigment
'Bout to go ham, ya bish...
[Without Me (2002)]
A visionary, vision of scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin' the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got everyone kissin' my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna, tune it in and then I'm gonna
Enter in, endin' up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids' ears and nesting
[The Real Slim Shady (2000)]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?