Evil Twin

[Intro: Eminem]

Yeah, tryin' to figure out the difference

But I think the lines are starting to get blurred

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I'm in a strange place

I feel like Ma$e when he gave up the game for his faith

I feel like I'm caged in these chains and restraints

Grimmin' every stranger in the place while I gaze into space

‘Cause I'm mentally rearrangin' his face

I need a change of pace

‘Cause the pace I'm workin' at's dangerous

There's nowhere to dump this anger, and thanks to this angst

I done quit chicken heads cold turkey

And started slowly roastin' 'em

‘Cause that's where most of my anger is based

Fuck your feelings! I feel like I play for the Saints

I just wanna hurt you—aim for the skanks

Then aim for all these fake Kanye's

Jay's, Wayne's and the Drake's

I'm frustrated ‘cause ain't no more N'Sync, now I'm all out of whack

I'm all out of Backstreet Boys to call out and attack

I'm goin' all out in this rap shit

And whatever the fallout is, I'm strapped

For battle, sucka-duck, crawl out the back!

It's a bar fight, prepare your arsenal and beware of bar stools

Flyin' through the air and bottles breakin', mirrors also

And I ain't stoppin' 'til the swear jar's full

"You done called every woman a slut

But you're forgetting Sarah, Marshall (Palin)"

Oh, my bad, slut! And next time I show up to court

I'll be naked and just wear a law suit

Judge be like, "That's sharp

How much that motherfucker cost you?

Smart-ass, you're lucky I don't tear it off you

And jump your bones, you sexy motherfucker!

You're so fuckin' gravy, Marshall, I should start callin' you 'au jus'

‘Cause all's you do is spit them lyrics out the wazoo."

Evil twin, take this beat now, it's all you

I believe people can change, but only for the worse

I coulda changed the world if it wasn't for this verse

So satanic, K-Mart chains panic

‘Cause they can't even spin back the curse words

‘Cause they're worse when they're reversed, motherfucker

Rekcufrehtom! (Rape your mother!)— Tihs! (Kill your parents!)

And these kids are like parrots

They run around the house just like terrorists

Screamin', "Fuck! Shit! Fuck!", adult with a childish-like arrogance

Wild ever since the day I came out, I was like, "Merits?

Fuck that! I'd rather be loud, and I like swearin'."

From the first album even the gals were like, "Tight lyrics!

Dreamy eyes!", but my fuckin' mouth was nightmarish

And from the start of it you felt like you were part of this and

Opposition felt the opposite, sometimes I listen

And revisit them old albums often as I can and

Skim through all them bitches

To make sure I keep up with my competition

Ha-ha! Hogger of beats, hoarder of rhymes

Borderline genius who's bored of his lines

And that sort of defines where I'm at and the way I feel now

Feel like I might just strike first, then ignore the replies

[Hook: Eminem & Royce Da 5'9"]

There's darkness closing in (Evil twin), there it goes again (My evil twin)

It controls my pen (My evil twin), but that ain't me, it's my evil twin

(Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)

But he's just a friend (Evil twin), who pops up now and again (Evil twin)

So don't blame me (Evil twin), just blame him, it's my evil twin

(Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)

[Interlude]

Welcome back to the land of the living, my friend

You have slept for quite some time

[Verse 2: Eminem]

So, who's left? Lady Gaga? Mess with the Bieber?

Nah, F with Christina!

I ain't fuckin' with either, Jessica neither:

Simpson or Alba, my album's just sicker than strep with the fever

Get the Chloraseptic, Excedrin, Aleve, or

Extra Strength Tylenol 3's

Feel like I'm burnin' to death, but I'm freezin'

Bedridden and destined never to leave the

Bedroom ever again, like the legend of Heath-uh-

Ledger, my suicide notes, barely legible, read the

Bottom, it's signed by the Joker

Lorena said I never can leave her

She'll sever my wiener I ever deceive her

Fuck that shit, bitch! Give up my dick for pussy?

I'll be Jerry Mathers I ever left it to Beaver

Get them titties cut off, tryin' to mess with a cleaver

Golly-wally, I vent, heat register, Jesus

Ever since 19946 Dresden, it was definitely my

Destiny when on the steps, I met DeShaun

At Osborn, I'd never make it to sophomore

I just wanted to skip school and rap, used to mop floors

Flip burgers and wash dishes

While I wrote rhymes, tryin' to get props for 'em

‘Cause I took book-smarts and swapped for 'em

They were sleepin', I made 'em stop snorin'

Made them break out the popcorn

Now I've been hip-hop in its tip-top form

Since N.W.A was blarin' through my car windows

Leanin' on the horn, screamin' "Fuck the police!" like cop porn

Flipped rap on its ear like I dropped corn

Fuck top five, bitch, I'm top four

And that includes Biggie and Pac, whore

And I got an evil twin

So who the fuck you think that third and that fourth spot's for?

And crazy as I am, I'm much tamer than him

And I'm nuts, then again, who the fuck wants a plain Eminem?

But no one's insaner than Slim, look at that (evil grin)

(Evil twin) please come in, what was your name again?

Hi! Faggot! Look who's back

With a crab up his ass like a lobster crawled up there

Two rabbits, a koala bear, and a ball of hair

And you're all aware I don't got it all upstairs

Guess that's why I'm an addict and it's so small up there

Peace to Whitney, jeez, it just hit me

That I should call the Looney Police to come get me

‘Cause I'm so sick of bein' the truth

I wish someone'd finally admit me

To a mental hospital with Britney

Oh, LMFAO, no way, Jo-

-se Baez couldn't beat this rap—O.J., no

Hooray, I'm off the hook like Casey Anthony, hey ho

(Hey-ho!) I sound like I'm tryin' to sing

The fuckin' chorus to "Hip Hop Hooray"? No

I’m hollerin', you got bottom-end like an 8-0-

8 and I 'base' whether we're fuckin' off that instead of your face so

Let your low-end raise, yo

Tango, what you think, ho? Slow dancin' or bowling?

You tryin' to hold hands with your homie?

What, you think I'm lookin' for romance ‘cause I'm lonely?

Change that tune, you ain't got a remote chance to control me

Ho, I'm only vulnerable when I got a boner

Superman, try to fuck me over, it won't hurt

Don't try to fix me, I'm broke, so I don't work

So are you, but you're broke ‘cause you don't work

But all bullshit aside, I hit a stride

Still Shady inside, hair every bit as dyed

As it used to be when I first introduced y'all to my skittish side

And blamed it on him when they tried to criticize

‘Cause we are the same, bitch!