Every Sperm Is Sacred lyrics

DAD:

There are Jews in the world.

There are Buddhists.

There are Hindus and Mormons, and then

There are those that follow Mohammed, but

I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,

And have been since before I was born,

And the one thing they say about Catholics is:

They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.

You don't have to have a great brain.

You don't have to have any clothes on. You're

A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite irate.

GIRL:

Let the heathen spill theirs

On the dusty ground.

God shall make them pay for

Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is wanted.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed

In your neighbourhood.

MUM:

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,

Spill theirs just anywhere,

But God loves those who treat their

Semen with more care.

MEN:

Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is great.

WOMEN:

If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN:

...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:

Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM:

Every sperm is good.

NANNIES:

Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS:

...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is useful.

Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:

God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1:

Mine!

MOURNER #2:

And mine!

CORPSE:

And mine!

NUN:

Let the Pagan spill theirs

O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES:

God shall strike them down for

Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:

Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed

In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite iraaaaaate!