Et puis je sais [English translation]

Yeah, I know, all these stares following me

Yeah, I know, all these words left unsaid

Yeah, I know, all these things I could have done

though I couldn't keep quiet as I was nearing hell

Yeah, I know, these smiles we make up,

the icy hands, the long hours of waiting

Yeah, I know, these mornings tired

by too many wasted words, too many elusive dreams.

Yeah, I know, there were bouts of anger,

some screaming, toughtless words.

Yeah, I know, all the things I could have said

tough I would not suffer1 when I felt anger rising

I yelled so many times to be better heard

(I was) so often awkward, so often unhappy.

I parked my fears on parking lots of hatred2

I picked up tabs far more expensive than my chains3

but I know no pardon will be granted

to the one who picks the wrong fate on this strange path4

Yeah, I know

Yeah, I know, this too fragile toy

that is never given but easily lent

Yeah, I know, all these worrying nights,

with fear in your guts as you struggle uphill.

Yeah, I know, all these meaningful silences

Yeah, I know, all these things we no longer do.

Though5 I skimmed 6random beds

during a few too dark nights for a few hours of hope

I tried to live amidst remorses

I tried to survive while people thought me dead

If I really believed in friendships that were nothing but dust7

and sought a remedy in the bottom of a few glasses

it's because I was afraid people would see me

as I see people. I was so afraid of myself.

Yeah, I know.

1. "à défaut de..." does not make much sense. I suspect it's just there for the symetry with the 1st stanza2. that's what I call a ponderous metaphor...3. here comes another one...4. my oh my...5. I suppose the end of the sentence is in the next stanza6. "glisser" might imply something quick or a mishap. It sounds a bit odd too7. lit. "dust friendships"