This story that I’m going to tell you
is the true story of Luigi delle Bicocche,1
a contemporary hero
to whom we all owe our freedom.
Nice to meet you, I’m Luigi delle Bicocche,
in the sunlight I work as a construction worker; I break my knuckles.
When I was young, my idol was the actor Dennis Hopper,
who in Easy Rider travelled the world riding a chopper bike.2
Instead, I spend my nights in a karaoke bar;
if you want, you can find me there, tempted by videopoker,3
but my account languishes and that machine wants my blood:
a perfect plot for Bram Stoker.4
You, what do you know about the life of workmen?
I tighten my expenses - goodbye butchers.
I haven’t got moneyboxes like those of a Dubai’s sheik,
and I feel like devolving the otto per mille to SNAI.5
I’m the perfect target for loan sharks, but I hold them off,
I don’t play Al Pacino, I’m not addicted to Pachinko,
I don’t scratch, I don’t win, I don’t drink in Bingo rooms.6
Little by little, I grow persuaded that…
I’m a hero, because I fight all day long.
I’m a hero, because I fight for my pension.
I’m a hero, because I protect my loved ones from hitmen, from money-lenders.
I’m a hero, because I live through my job.
I’m a hero, amazing every evening.
I’m a hero, and I’ll show you,
I’ll show you what I can do with my superpower.
My salary halved, or I get fired;
at any age, I’m already out of the market.
Were I a former SS, 93 years old, I’d be working in my lawyer’s office.7
I come back home exhausted in the evening instead,
I have a furred tongue, like concrete in a cement mixer.8
I’m flat broke, I do not score, and my account is in the hole,
so I can stay loyal to my flag.9
Come on, go see in jail
how many temporary employees has turned to crime.
When you starve, you make various enemies.
If your name is not Savoia, forget about house arrest.10
You end up in the hands of loan sharks,
you eat what you can find, if you insist on scavenging the trash cans.
Neither Spider-Man nor Rocky nor Rambo nor people like them
would do what I do for my kids.
I’m a hero, because I fight all day long.
I’m a hero, because I fight for my pension.
I’m a hero, because I protect my loved ones from the hands of hitmen, of money-lenders.
I’m a hero, because I live through my job.
I’m a hero, amazing every evening.
I’m a hero, and I’ll show you,
I’ll show you what I can do with my superpower.
To make money, there are various ways:
I could begin committing fraud
and steal money from dead people like a banker in Lodi.11
There are people who quit the conservatory to go to Montecitorio:
there, pianists are paid more than Adrien Brody.12
I go on and my mind gets clouded,
I’m about to get mad, like in a call center,
I live in room 237, but I won’t cut my family into pieces13
because I’m a hero.
I’m a hero, because I fight all day long.
I’m a hero, because I fight for my pension.
I’m a hero, because I protect my loved ones from hitmen, from money-lenders.
I’m a hero, because I live through my job.
I’m a hero, amazing every evening.
I’m a hero, and I’ll show you,
I’ll show you what I can do with my superpower.
1. ‟Luigi delle Bicocche” is a fake name which literally means ‟Luigi of the shacks”.2. Dennis Hopper played a major role in Easy Rider, an "on the road" movie in which two guys travelled around the US on their bikes.3. Videopoker machines are similar to slot machines that are not restricted to be placed inside casinos; there are some of them in almost every café, and they have become a plague, with lots of people addicted to them losing all their money.4. Bram Stoker is the author of Dracula, who sucks blood out their victims just like videopoker machines do.5. In Italy, otto per mille (8 permille = 0.8%) is a share of the taxes, which a person can decide to devolve either to a Church or to the state.
SNAI is a betting company.6. Al Pacino played a gambling expert in the movie Two for the Money.
Pachinko is a Japanese gambling game.
Gratta e vinci {Scratch and win} are tickets you can buy in any café or tobacconist’s: you scratch the thin film on them and uncover a message telling you if you won or lost.7. Reference to Erich Priebke (who died in 2013 at the age of 100); he was a Nazi official and was convicted of war crimes, but was granted house arrest and was allowed to exit his house to go to ‟work” to his lawyer’s office, in Rome.8. impastato = furred (for the tongue).
impastato = mixed (for substances halfway between solid and liquid, like dough or concrete).9. The Italian flag colors are green, white and red.
essere al verde {to be at the green} = to be flat broke.
andare in bianco {to go in white} = not to score.
essere in rosso {to be in red} = to be in the hole.10. Vittorio Emanuele di Savoia is the heir of the former Italian royal family. He was involved in various legal cases, but he always got through them with little consequences, also thanks to his VIP status.11. Gianpiero Fiorani is an Italian banker; when he was a manager in the Banco di Lodi (Bank of Lodi, a city in northern Italy) who illegally withdrew the money from bank accounts of dead persons who had no relatives or whose relatives did not withdraw the money after a certain period.12. Montecitorio is the seat of the Italian Parliament. Italian politicians very often vote for their absent deskmates too, even if it is illegal, so they have multiple votes instead of a single one. In doing so, they spread their arms to reach the nearby voting buttons, looking like pianists.
Adrien Brody is an actor who played the major role in the movie The Pianist.13. Luigi is so poor he has to live in a hotel room, having no money to buy or rent a real house.
Room 237 is a room of the Overlook Hotel in the horror movie The Shining (adapted from the book by Stephen King), which is haunted by a woman who was murdered there.