You haven’t dialed it wrong
I’ve only hooked my heart up to my telephone and my computer parts.
If you would say to me
That you’re still crying some:
Press the “one.”
And if you want to ask
If I’ve unhappy been,
and whether we can meet
so we can start again; (or for just who knows what sort of nonsense from you:
Press the “two.”
Do you need help with your asking?
‘cause right now, I’m multi-tasking.
Do I still have feelings for you, Yes or No?
How much should I still believe you?
Are my reasons false, or still true?
And how often must I put up with this show?
Press “zero.”
And if you want to know
where your possessions are –
if you can spend the night
or else you’re in your car –
if I’ll come bail you out just like I’ve done before:
Press the “four.”
Have you been getting grief
from your new wife today?
Is all your money gone?
has all your hair turned gray?
If all your loneliness just isn’t feeling great:
Press the “eight.”
Do you need help with your asking?
‘cause right now, I’m multitasking.
Do I still have feelings for you, Yes or No?
How much should I still believe you?
Are my reasons false, or still true?
And how often must I put up with this show?
Will you do me a favor, ‘cause
my nerves are nearly blown,
and simply press the button on the top of your own telephone!