Don't Marry Me lyrics

You are young and beautiful,

Sweet as the breath of May.

Earnestly I speak to you.

Weigh every word I say.

If you want to have a rosy future

And be happy as a honey bee,

With a husband who will always love you,

Baby, Don't marry me.

If you want a man you can depend on,

I can absolutely guarantee

I will never fail to disappoint you,

Baby, Don't marry me.

I eat lychee nuts and cookies in bed

And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.

I have irritating habits you'll dread,

Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs.

My grandpa was a big game hunter,

He met grandma swinging on a tree.

If you want to have attractive children,

Baby, Don't marry me.

I would like to see my sons and daughters

Sliding up and down their father's knee.

They'll get splinters in their little fannies,

Cookie, Don't marry me.

I'm devoted to my dear old Mama,

And if you and Mama disagree,

I would always side with her against you,

Schnookie, Don't marry me.

I would always like to know where you go.

I don't like a man to keep me in doubt.

Honey that's a thing that's easy to know,

You will always know where I am, I'm out!

I am talking like a Chinese uncle.

I'm as serious as I can be.

I am saying this because I love you,

Darling, Don't marry me!