Hey bus driver keep the change, bless your children, give them names
Don't trust men who walk with canes
Drink this and you'll grow wings on your feet
Broadway Mary, Joan Fontaine, advertiser on a downtown train
Oh, Christmas crier bustin' cane, he's in love again
Where dock worker's dreams mix with panther's schemes to someday own the rodeo
Tainted women in VistaVision perform for out-of-state kids at the late show
Wizard imps and sweat sock pimps, interstellar mongrel nymphs
Oh, Rex said that lady left him limp, love's like that (It sure is)
Oh, queen of diamonds, ace of spades, newly discovered lovers of the everglades
They take out a full page ad in the trades to announce their arrival
And Mary Lou she found out how to cope, she rides to heaven on a gyroscope
The Daily News asks her for the dope
She says, "Man, the dope's that there's still hope"
Senorita, Spanish rose, wipes her eyes and blows her nose
Uptown in Harlem she throws a rose to some lucky, young matador