My granny while on her deathbed,
She turned and said to me,
"Why must you view life so morbidly?
I tried to teach you right,
But somewhere I went wrong,
'Cause you sing those death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs."
When six pallbearers put her down
And laid her body in the ground,
My eyes were wet, my face was very long.
The pastor said, "Son, here you are.
Won't you please take this guitar?
Sing dear departed Granny one last song."
And I sang
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hell, you know that's how I get along.
The world is full of tragedy so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
Well, I was shopping at Hot Topic
And I was walking out the door,
When two dumb jocks came up to me.
They said, "Hey fag, it ain't Halloween!"
And they kicked my lipstick to the floor.
And I sang
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hell, you know that's how I get along.
The world is full of idiots so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
Well, I went down to church on Sunday.
I sat up front in a pew.
The priest said, "Jesus and Mary, too!
Son, what the Devil's got into you?
Get up and sing a hymn or two!"
And I sang
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hey, you know that's how I get along.
The world's full of hypocrisy so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
I was invited to the White House.
The president pulled me aside.
He said, "Son, sing us a song of peace
For those evil-doers in the Middle East."
I rolled my eyes and kicked this rhyme.
I sang...
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hell, you know that's how I get along.
The world is full of Dubyas so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
Well, then I died and went to Hell.
I could tell right away by the awful smell
That this was clearly not the pearly gates.
The Devil said, "Come here young man.
My wife and I are your biggest fans!"
So naturally I felt I had it made.
Well, then he reached into an iron chest
And he picked the tool that he felt was best.
And then he jabbed me in the schlong
With a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs.
He turned to me and winked and sang this song.
He sang
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Yeah, I know that's how you got along.
I find your songs hilarious but now your soul's precarious,
Singing your death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
I'm just kidding, kid. Welcome to Hell, enjoy the buffet!
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hell, you know that's how we get along.
The world is full of sinners so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.