Caught in the pool late at night
and I’m down at the precinct with the cops.
That kiss in my parents’ old wardrobe:
carved wood with our names in the hearts.
The eternal “blood brotherhood”
and the next day, I don’t know your name.
Three hours in the taxi ‘round the block
Because the driver was such a dream.
Three girls in guest team colors
on the home team’s own fifty-yard line.
The too candid note to my boss
and slow dancing, his wife’s hand in mine.
The vacation “truth or dare” bet
that ends up as a real wedding pact.
Latin as advanced course . . .
Really bad hair . . . my record contract. *
All this just shouldn’t happen
All this just couldn’t happen
All this just wouldn’t happen
. . . without Prosecco.
Sunday morning, ten-seventeen
Awoke by the phone’s loud ring
I’ve nothing on but the boots on my feet
All my senses are no more “in sync.”
All that you say I did yesterday
is as if I were in a bad fog
I cried, “Viva revolution!
Let us ‘get it on’ – – This is my song!”
My friend on the answering machine yells:
“Hey, just what you were ‘on’?” *
He says my own bra is on eBay.
And how did I ever get home? *
Holy crap! Where’d this piercing come from?
How’d I get this large serpent tattoo?
And whose things lie here on my bed?
And who the devil are you?
All this just shouldn’t happen
All this just couldn’t happen
All this just wouldn’t happen
. . . without Prosecco.
*the “und” was not spoken between “Frisur” and “mein”
*the “-en” ending was not pronounced on “genommen”
or on “gekommen.”