Confessions Part III lyrics

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These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

I came up up with more secrets to tell you today

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times

Silly me, so now I gotta give you

part three of my confessions

First I told you about the skank

that I was cheating with

Then I mentioned she's having my kid

That's not all, now I recall more you see,

so I'll give you part three of my confessions

Now this gonna be

the hardest thing I think I ever had to do

Gonna tell you everything

I left out of parts one and two

Like remember when I told you

that I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)

That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for

I borrowed your chap stick from you

Without asking

I tried out your nose hair trimmer too

And by the way,

your diamond ring is cubic zirconium1,

I killed your goldfish accidentally,

just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

I needed to get some things off my chest right away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times

Silly me, I guess I gotta give you

part three of my confessions

I threw up on your dog

last time I had too much to drink

There have been times

when I've peed in your sink

Don't know why,

but you and I should agree

that belongs in part three of my confessions

Baby forgive me

I'm still trying to figure out

why I used your toothbrush

to clean off the bathroom grout

Oh, and sometimes in private,

I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple

and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)

My boss thinks I'm a jerk

Didn't get that raise.

I haven't changed my underwear

in twenty-seven days

And when I'm kissing you

I fantasize you're a midget

I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times

Silly me, I guess I gotta give you

part three of my confessions

Gave you buttered toast I dropped

and then picked up off the floor

FYI it was not a cold sore (not a cold sore)

Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at me

when I finish part three of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this,

but you remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?

Well, I returned it for store credit.

That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?

Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week.

I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic.

Oh, and when I told you at breakfast

we were all out of Rice Krispies?

What I meant was

that there was only enough left for me.

Sorry.

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

I thought of some more things

that should scare you away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times

Silly me, I guess I gotta give you

part three of my confessions

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat

And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat

Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore

'til I give you part four of my confessions

I mean, I'm just getting started here.

I'm not even halfway down the list!

This thing go on for...

H-hey, where ya goin'?

Honey?

What?

Was it something I said?

(sighing) Women...

1. a.k.a., cubic zirconia