Well, it stumbles and it falls off of almost every tongue;
give a listen and you’ll hear.
It’s lurkin’ like a landmine in almost every sentence,
it’s an assault to my mind’s ear.
Yeah, it might have started back with Jack Kerouac,
probably more than likely it was Maynard G. Krebs.
It’s the four letter word that used to mean ‟as if”,
and the meaning’s covered in cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
Used to be a preposition, then it was a conjunction,
now it’s used as an audible pause.
Oh, I hate it when I hear it, especially when I see it;
gotta stamp it out, there ought to be some laws.
College boys, valley girls, mall rats, grandmamas:
everybody’s misusin’ that word.
I heard it four times in one poor little sentence;
it was the saddest sound I ever have heard.
Cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
I suppose you could blame it on my generation,
chickens from the 60s finally comin’ into roost.
I’ve been sayin’ it myself for over thirty years now;
just to give my cool quota just a little bitty kind of a boost.
But when I hear it,
I can’t stand it,
especially coming out of the mouths of one of my own kids.
It’s been taught and, God,
what have we wrought?
Give a listen here, what do we dig?
I prefer "ar" "or" "er",
you can rest assured.
If you’re sayin’ what you mean then it don’t mean a thing,
it’s just an ugly little four letter word.
Doesn’t anybody care or am I the only one?
Am I just stuck back in some kind of a past?
Maybe it’s harmless but it feels like a virus
and it sounds like it’s catchin’ on fast.
Cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
Well, it stumbles and it falls off of almost every tongue;
give a listen and you’ll hear.
It’s lurkin’ like a landmine in almost every sentence,
it’s an assault to my mind’s ear.
Yeah, it might have started back with Jack Kerouac,
probably more than likely it was Maynard G. Krebs.
It’s the four letter word that used to mean ‟as if”
and the meaning’s covered in cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
Doesn’t mean a thing.
Cobwebs.
Little bitty boost.
Jack Kerouac.
Cobwebs.
Maynard G. Krebs.
Cobwebs.