There was a man who lived in Chicago 1
And grass would grow on his face
He was sad
On his face, grass
On his head, plants with falling leaves
To cut his hair he’d use a chainsaw
Then, there was a woman living in Erba 2
She was really beautiful, however
Her pores would secrete excrements instead of sweat
A sad situation because of the unfortunate secretion
Poop out of her face
She was sad
He decided that, to be happy
He had to emigrate from there
Farewell to the Chicagoan frustrations
Farewell to the main railroad hub
He went to the airport
To fly to Erba
And to find there grass
On people’s faces
She, on the other hand,
For a coincidence you may find strange
Took off from Erba
Heading to Chicago
This name was inspiring
In the stinky girl a new hope.
Right after the take-off
People wanted to kick her out
But fate was in ambush
In the form of the pilot
Who, passed out because of the exhalations,
In his pilot dream became a kamikaze
And aimed to the airplane
Flying from Chicago to Erba
The flash caused by the impact
Shone on the two faces
One green, the other one not
And, falling, he saw her
And, falling, she saw him
“Let me introduce myself, my name is Jonathan Grass”
Said him, darting into the blue
“Pardon my audacity, but I do reckon
That we’re going to die soon, quite soon
Both because of the impact on the ground,
Both because of the serious crash
And, if I may, also because of the shock
We both suffered a while ago”
“Don’t mention it, dear friend
I too am very well aware of the fact
That our time is running out
And to prove you it’s true
I’ll put my tongue inside your mouth”
The contact of the two faces
Together with the passion of love
Fixed that tragedy
Grass grew instantaneously long
Because of the fertilizing effect
Poop plus love do more miracles
Than people would think
But love’s light
Was shadowed by the smell
That bitch was emanating
And the unlucky lover, retreating instantaneously
Rejected the hug and said “tsk!”
And wrapped himself in the grass
Falling on the ground
He said: “I die on the ground”
She fell on him and died because of that
Creating on the spot the happy flowerbed of love
Meantime, two hillbillies
Busy there digging grooves
Saw the event (“Look, an event!”)
And said: “A miracle!” (“A miracle!”)
“These overlapping corpses
Are a heavenly admonishment
Soon, great celebrations (“Soon, celebrations”)
To honour the fertilizer
Which made our fields fecund!”
And this story’s moral is
Shit is not as ugly as people draw it 3
1. In order to understand the song, please consider that “Chicago” in Italian sounds something like “I shit on that”. Also, consider the fact that the title is completely unrelated to the rest of the song, as clearly stated by the singer himself (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvFH4gneE4&t=40s).2. The name of this Italian city literally means "grass".3. An Italian proverb says “the devil is not as ugly as people draw him”, meaning that a person or a situation thought to be or described as unfavourable turns out to be not as much bad.