Caino e Abele [English translation]

Abel1 was good, Cain2 not so good,

he was in the Bible, but he was not a saint;

they were two brothers, but they were the opposite,

completely different, like tablets and suppositories:

Abel was handsome, like a French actor,

Cain was ugly enough to break the cameras,

Abel was tall and well placed,

Cain was hunchbacked and always angry.

«We are in this world in two and one pisses me off,

Just looking at his face makes me want to kill him;

he is big and strong, but as soon as he is from behind

I will show him how beautiful my valley is! »

Abel sang praises to the Lord

with the melodic voice that sounded like a tenor;

Cain, out of tune, tried for hours,

he seemed like a pig pressed by a tractor.

Even the good God one day called him,

He covered His ears and then He spoke to him:

«Dear Cain, if you want to pray,

I'm really happy, but stop singing,

otherwise my angels would lose their feathers,

and all the fishes will be drowned in the river,

otherwise my angels would lose their feathers,

and all the fish will drown in the river.»

«We are in this world in two and one pisses me off,

Just looking at his face makes me want to kill him;

he is big and strong, but as soon as he is from behind

I will show him how beautiful my valley is!»

Abel was in shape, vegetarian,

he ate some grapes and a small piece of bread

and after a day passed to work

he still had the strength to sing and dance.

Cain killed everything that moved,

he ate like a wolf and damn if he drank!,

and after a day of rotten drunk,

he threw himself on the grass, then he began to snore.

To spend some time, they played football,

Abel was good, the other quite the opposite,

Abel dribbled so well that he looked like Ronaldo3,

Cain resembled Huckleberry4 Hound's brother.

The lawn of Abel was as big as the Meazza5,

in the lawn of Cain not even a cup fits,

in the lawn of Abel were all the plants in a row,

in the lawn of Cain there was only a nettle,

in the lawn of Abel the cattle grazed,

in the lawn of Cain the rats grazed,

in the lawn of Abel the cattle grazed,

in the lawn of Cain the rats grazed.

«We are in the world in two and one pisses me off,

Just looking at his face makes me want to kill him;

he is big and strong, but as soon as he is from behind

I will show him how beautiful my valley is!»

One evening Cain sees Abel coming,

he got angry as if I don’t know what, he says the TV is broken;

Cain that does not have the television,

he says that however, thus, he can roll a joint;

Abel, with open mouth, scandalized,

he says to him, "What a shame, you are even a drug addict!"

«Shame on whom? that there are only two of us here»

The other, laughing, answered him:

«The Bible says I must kill you,

but I have a system that is even more beautiful:

I take my rags and go away on my own,

I'll leave you here to play tennis alone,

I'll leave you here to play tennis alone!»

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abel2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cain3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronaldo_(Brazilian_footballer)4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huckleberry_Hound5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Siro