Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner lyrics

[Bruce Banner]

I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce

With your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes

I hear you're good at running, you're just like the Flash

Especially in the 100 meter ditch-your-wife dash!

I'm an ace in the lab, acid, base, and treble

So let me break you down on a molecular level

You turned one gold medal to a lifetime of green

The most overrated athlete anyone's ever seen!

You need to carry fatherhood across that finish line

Kept up with the Kardashians, but left some kids behind

Now, run along; you'll thank me 'cause I'm getting kinda cranky

And trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

[Bruce Jenner]

I think you're in your element when you're behaving badly

Honestly, you're kinda boron when you're happy

I'll lap and pass your ass ten different ways

Decathlon athlete, blast through you like some gamma rays!

The truth is, there's no truce between the Bruces

You're a drifter being useless, I'm a winner, no excuses

Beautiful women all up on my jock

I got a home gym, check me on the cereal box, doc

You big green freak, don't try to flex

If it wasn't for your cousin, you'd never have sex

You're so strong when you get mad

Too bad you can't go back and protect your mom from your dad!

[The Hulk]

That painted face don't give you class

Just one more thing Bruce do for cash

Best thing you make: Kylie ass

She eighteen? Hulk SMASH!

[Caitlyn Jenner]

That's my teenage daughter, man, I have to forbid this

I'll put a javelin through your jolly green discus

Kylie not the type of girl I'mma let you smash on

You'll get the medal without the decathlon!

[The Hulk]

Hulk is Hulk, no identify as man

Me thinks Cait might understand

No gender issue, this Jenner issue

Just you being you is enough to diss you!

[Caitlyn Jenner]

Look, I understand that you hate yourself

But you don't need to blame yourself

You're a tiger; stop trying to tame yourself

You gotta be big enough to contain yourself!

And get hit with a little forgiveness

Be green, it ain't none of my business

But if you think you looking good in those torn-ass clothes

You're lying, which means you need a new wardrobe

The vision of those shorts kinda scarred me

What'd you just rage at, a Barney-themed party?

That's probably not something you seen as a child

Not one day did you see your daddy smile

"Hulk not strong enough to deal with denial"

Laying you down, easy. That's kitchen tile!

Examine this under your microscope

You got no neck, but you still fucking choked!

After battling me, you're gonna always be pissed

So the Hulk will stay forever, neither Bruce will exist!