Bagpipes from Baghdad

[Intro]

Oh, it's music to my ears, oh man

How can I describe the way I feel?

Fucking great, man

Okay, let me see

How could I begin?

[Verse 1]

Locked in Mariah's wine cellar, all I had for lunch

Was bread, wine, more bread, wine and Captain Crunch

Red wine for breakfast and for brunch

And to soak it up, an in-between snack, crackers to munch

Mariah, what ever happened to us?

Why did we have to break up?

All I asked for was a glass of punch

You see, I never really asked for much

I can't imagine what's going through your mind after such

A nasty break-up with that Latin hunk

Luis Miguel, Nick Cannon better back the fuck up

I'm not playin', I want her back, you punk

This is Hello Kitty bedspread, Satin Funk

Mixed with Egyptian, with a little rap and punk

Zapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, Crunk

And yeah baby, I want another crack at ya

You can beat me with any spatula that you want

I mean, I really want you bad, you cunt

Nick, you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junk

Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood

So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease?

For Pete sakes, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind

Half the time, when I rhyme, or blowing up like

Bagpipes from Baghdad

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on

'Cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streets

And act like a madman holding a Glad

[Verse 2]

You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture

I'm the Miracle Whip trickster

My signature sound, when a tube of lipstick's around

I'm bound to put it on in an instant, wow

Man, what an ensemble

What an assortment of pharma–ceuticals

This beautiful pill dust in my palm, my

Cuticles get residue just from touchin' the bottle

Never knew I could remind me so much of my momma

I'll cut ya like Dahmer, pull a butcher knife on ya

The size of a sword, boy, I'm like the fuckin' Red Sonja

Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowing ya, Norman

You're so fuckin' annoyin', drop the shovel, boy

You don't know what the fuck you're doin'

I ain't playin' no fuckin' more

Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin' whore

Every minute there's a sucker born, snuck up on Malachai

Made the motherfucker suck on a shuck of corn

Shuck o', shuck o' corn, Chaka Khan

Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck, and

Told him it's fuckin' on, man, what the fuck are ya doin'?

You're runnin' over the snowblower with the lawnmower

Blowin' your bagpipes from Baghdad

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease?

For Pete sakes, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind

Half the time, when I rhyme, or blowing up like

Bagpipes from Baghdad

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on

'Cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streets

And act like a madman holding a Glad bag

[Verse 3]

In the bed with two brain-dead lesbian vegetables

I bet you they become heterosexual

Nothing will stop me from molestin' you

Titty-fuckin' you 'til your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles

Is what I said to the two conjoined twins

How's it going, girlfriends? You needs a boyfriend?

You need some ointment? Just set up an appointment

Who's gonna see the doctor first? We'll do a coin flip

I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip

When the bad get going, how bad does the going get?

Baby, you shouldn't have any trouble rubbing groins wit'

Each other, especially when you're joined at the hip

I'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit

And attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loin, shit

Lure the little boy with the chocolate 'Chips Ahoy!' chip

Cookie, lookie, even took me a Polaroid pic

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease?For Pete's sake, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind

Half the time, when I rhyme, or blowing up like

Bagpipes from Baghdad

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on

'Cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streetsAnd act like a madman holding a Glad bag

Oh, bagpipes from Baghdad

[Outro]

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