Авто-Мат [Avto-mat] [English translation]

If a bumper kisses1 a hood of someone's car,

If a front side of a car becomes dented because of that,

If a bumper breaks a left turn signal,

You immidiately hear auto-mat2.

If you run a red light,

If you crash your mug on the asphalt,

If you're knocked down, there is nothing surprising

That you again hear damned auto-mat:

"Three fucking driveshafts, three fucking cilinders,

Shitty carburetor and crosspiece, fuck you mother!"

If a Road Police officer stops you,

If he makes a puncture your driver license,

If he fines you, and you must pay your own money,

People hear your three-storey3 auto-mat.

If suddenly your brakes go out,

If you knock dowh an old woman, but it ish't your fault,

('Cause she herself got under your wheels, stupid bitch!)

There is auto-mat sounding along a road:

"Three fucking driveshafts, three fucking cilinders,

Shitty carburetor and crosspiece, fuck you mother!"

(INTERLUDE)

If a KAMAZ truck runs you over,

And your soul goes to hell,

And its driver is codemned to 10 years because of you,

There is loud auto-mat heard behind prison bars.

If someone strikes you on your forehead with a crowbar,

And hurts your ass with a crankshaft,

I would like to see a fighting like that in a coffin4,

Let it be just harmless auto-mat:

"Three fucking driveshafts, three fucking cilinders,

Shitty carburetor and crosspiece, fuck you mother!

Three fucking driveshafts, three fucking cilinders,

Shitty carburetor and crosspiece, fuck you mother!

Three fucking driveshafts, three fucking cilinders,

Shitty carburetor and crosspiece, fuck you mother!

Oh, my gosh,

Shitty crosspiece, spleen, heart, fuck your mother!"

1. kisses: (here) hits in a car accident.2. auto-mat: in this text, these words mean non-normative cussing because of a car accident. It is a big play of Russian words "auto" (Rus. "Авто", means "an automobile" or "something that somehow belongs to automobiles") and "mat" (Rus. "Мат", means "non-normative words") that are consonant with the Russian word "automat" (Rus. Автомат). The Russian word "Автомат" can have meaning "a sub-machine gun" and the same meanings that English word "automatic" has. It's impossible to adapt this play of words in English.3. three-storey: (here) these words mean a very long and rude cussing with non-normative words in Russian slang.4. to see a fighting like that in a coffin: (here) I don't want a fighting to be happened.