Another sad song [Russian translation]

[Verse 1]

Yeah I deal with self-hate, yeah my stupid image

And I been doing this my whole life, I don’t think you get it

Trouble with these women, pushing myself to my limits

Wanna end that life you told me I could never finish

Just admit it dog, no you could never love yourself

You try to fight through it but you just need to get some help

And when they try to help you push your feeling to the shelf

Now tell me do I live on earth or do I live in hell?

Yeah my mental is imbalanced, it’s a bigger challenge

I been looking for some love, yeah I sit and scavenge

All I have is broken walls with a little talent

I wrote this letter tryna end it, I don’t know what happened

Yeah we’re going for a ride and keep your seatbelt fastened

Life is too fast, hit the breaks but I just know we’re crashing

My memories are flashing, look at all the time that’s passing

I don’t make movies but you can see I’m always acting

My anxiety it always gets the best of me

Depression and PTSD, my biggest enemy

Lose relationships, I like to blame my jealousy

Yeah you can try to help I promise there’s no remedy

Too many cigarettes, it got me breathing heavily

Push the ones away I love, I have the tendency

Had depression since I was in elementary

When I started to blow up they started friending me

[Verse 2]

Acting like they always liked my music, why you lie?

Can you tell, me where were you when all my views were dry

You only like me now because I’m bigger, don’t deny

You were never there, I had nobody standing by

If I’m gone I could say hi to friends and family

I know you’d rather never hear this, it’s so damaging

I try to study my own thoughts, yes I’m examining

But when I get close to the truth I just start panicking

I literally don’t have nobody, it is so depressing

No messages from people that I know, they stay rejecting

Now you know I hate my life so what were you expecting

I’m going backwards in this life, I thought I was progressing

I’m punching mirrors, I do not like who I have become

I’m helping all these people yet I do not have no one

I let my mental issues get to me, I’m kinda dumb

But now I gotta face the truth so I will never run

[Verse 3]

See I’m the type to push away when something seems too good for me

And end up hurting people, no not physically but mentally

And try and lie to them and tell them maybe we're not meant to be

I’m fighting a new enemy, I can not fix it medically

I’m not the same person that really I use to be

I make them laugh but I am dying inside usually

But nowadays I only get these people using me

I isolate myself, I swear it’s just consuming me

And I know I’m looking weak to everyone I know

I admit it shoulda told you a long time ago

Cutting people off I think I need some time alone

I make this music while I’m putting on a happy show

Does the grass really get greener on the other side?

Never found the resolution but at least I tried

It’s too late for me to lie about it, I can’t hide

I was looking in the mirror and I swore I died