A big room, a candle,
So small and far, never warms me.
It doesn't shine against the darkness,
Rather it makes it stronger.
No breath ends the journey
To the flame, no flicker grants
Escape to the shadow from the wise,
As it hangs motionless in the room.
On my knees, hands bound
Behind my back, forehead on the stone.
The hall so wide but oppressive,
As inconceivably high as I am small.
I am the centre of emptiness.
No door, no window in sight.
Fear hangs heavily in the air.
I cower before the weight of it.
A sob from the walls,
Like waves of cold sand,
From far, ice-cold beaches
On which no one ever stood.
I want to rock my shroud, wild and gentle at the same time, for comfort.
But instead I remain lying in paralysing vibration.
I feel chaos humming in my blood, songless in isolation.
Panic has long kept me silent, I only hear the blood that roars in me.
I only hear the blood that roars in me.
I only hear the blood that roars in me.
I only hear the blood that roars in me.
I only hear the blood that roars in me.
I dream up a thunderstorm
And colours between the lead.
The fear, it tastes so bitter.
My heart too small for the scream.
Oh, if I could just finally sleep or simply wake up.
I never wanted to punish myself or leave myself this way and I remain
Imprisoned there at the point furthest away
From the happiness of the womb, gone, I only remember it faintly.
I only remember it faintly.
I only remember it faintly.
I only remember it faintly.
I only remember it faintly.
You reached the stones so faithful to the builders;
Easy to build, everything was yours.
A building, monumental, and you never saw the danger,
You didn't even realise it was already your prison.
So it goes year after year.
So it goes year after year.
So it goes year after year.
So it goes year after year.
I dream up a thunderstorm
And colours between the lead.
The fear, it tastes so bitter.
My heart too small for the scream.
And everyone is long gone.
And the tears run
Over your cheeks
Uncontrollably.
Desire reigns.