Amoureux d'une flic [English translation]

She issued my warning with class

She blew warm air

On the end of her pen

She issued my warning with grace

Her little nervous wrist

Shaking her blue Bic

She pretended there was a problem 1

Madam’s pen

Isn’t working

That made her laugh

And me, hopeless

Here I am

In love with a cop

Why not

But how do I explain it

To dad?

Who got himself done over

By a whole load of coppers 2

In other times

Who has a truncheon bruise

Big as an Easter egg

Near his liver

And well, here, in short is the dilemma

If I introduce them straight away

Dad, Julie Lescaut 3

I can already predict the chrysanthemums 4

Need to play it shrewdly

Need to find the right opening

Not to tell him that his son

Watches all the Bruce Willis movies

On cassettes

That Murphy’s law

For her means the one of Eddy

My cop-ette

In love with a cop

Why not

But how do I explain it

To dad?

Him who lost a leg

To a Molotov cocktail

Poorly thrown

Him who has so-so hearing

Heard too many sirens

In the past

She told herself that the uniform was ‘de rigeur’

For their first meeting I thought that the flowers

Were enough

But apparently not

Dad reacted with class

In his empty eyes I saw

A implied ‘yes’

Dad reacted with grace

With the action of the motor

Of his respirator

Which played the breakdown trick

With his electrocardiogram

Which flat-lined

My wife gave him a few slaps

Hoping that he’d come back

But here we are

In love with a cop

Why not

But how do I explain it

To dad?

Who gives me his news

When a storm blows over

In the sky

He pisses on the pigs

From up there on his cushion

Of clouds

1. ‘faire le coup de la panne’ is where someone pretends that their car has broken down in an attempt to be alone with the object of their affection 2. un poulailler = a hen house, and une poule is slang for police 3. Character in a popular TV cop show https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julie_Lescaut4. funereal flowers