Am Apparat [English translation]

[Verse 1: Alligatoah]

Hello

You should leave the talking to me

Bitch, or I'll gratinee ya

Try to call the po-po with your cell phone

So they'll shove me in a cell

But yo, yo mama got zero bars (ha!)1

And she wears a long, white, freaky beard

I think your parents hooked up while tweekin'

And your father realized: "man, I got poo on my shoe!"2

Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show!

No joke, it doesn't make you a star

Just because you're looking at the starry sky

Just because I drive around on Mallorca, doesn't make it a traffic circle3

Filth!

However, since in plundering I'm pretty much the German Master

Call me Don!

I pop my dirt-devil4 in his sweet little sister's

Mouth, all he says is: laissez faire

I'll never, as long as I live, settle down

Before that happens, I'll probably die in front of my rhyme book!5

[Chorus 2x: Alligatoah]

Telephone terrorist on the line

The connection isn't very stable, but it's real clear

I want a telephone that you can drool all over

Dam da da daa, dam da da daa

[Verse 2: BattleBoi Basti]

I curse out listeners on the line like you're supposed to

And only bring phat punchlines

And while I'm talking, I'm spraying bits of burger on your leg

You call me a scaredy-cat?

I'm offended!

But you're so dumb

You think ding-dong ditch is sold by Hostess6

You get chicken-pox and skin cancer

Because our telephone terror pisses you off so bad, fishhead

That you drop the phone7 like a DJ with the bass

My existence is ultimately essential

I vote8 myself into the Statehouse

Although I don't even know the number

This conversation will soon be over, just like your shitty life

Yo mama thinks she's smart

Just because she's got wisdom teeth

Before you die, it pays to pray

And she'll give you a charley horse

without even kicking you

I practically practice, with your shitty ma

In my office, on top of your corpse

The art of coitus

I'm doing big business

Everyone else is just a junk dealer

Never settled down, never left in the dust

I remain A number 1

[Chorus 4x]

[Outro]

Woman: "Why don't you just call up someone else, OK?"

Telephone terrorist: "Fine. Then give me yo mama's number!"

Woman: "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

Telephone terrorist: "You can't please me, so you might as well please yourself"9

Woman: "What do you want?"

Telephone terrorist: "Your life-- bwahahahah!"

Woman: "I'm calling the police!!"

Telephone terrorist: "Uh... no, um, please don't.... er, um, no.... bye."

1. Literally, she's a "signal hole," a dead zone, an area with no cell phone signal.2. Literally, he realized that that was a grab in the toilet-- an idiom for a serious fail.3. Literally, a pun with verkehr = to frequent a location/traffic and verkehrinsel = traffic island4. Literally "stain-dwarf," could refer to either the stain-dwarf that dropped that spot of sauce on your shirt, it wasn't you, or to a little bottle of stain-remover named after it, but I think here it refers to something else...5. Literally page of lyrics6. literally, you buy wall paint for the doorbell trick-- it's a pun in German.7. Literally you hang up/put something on like a DJ (puts on a new record on).8. A pun with wahl = vote/dial that I couldn't figure out a substitute for.9. Literally, a figure of speech about how you can do it like the roofers do (because the roofers can do whatever the hell they want, they're on the roof).