I am standing here, once again, in silence,
at your bedside and, once again,
I stroke your hair lightly.
You lie before me, deep in sleep,
so peaceful, like a tiny animal
that had been busy the livelong day.
And your helplessness touches me,
so as to squeeze my throat.
And once more it dawns on me
that I care about you now,
I, elder "Dissipated Brother”.
How important I am all of a sudden.
At your bedside at night
Importance is reduced to triviality.
I stand before you, dismayed
and full of gratitude, and I experience
a kind of humility, child of mine.
No more am I my own self
No. I won’t be entirely free anymore.
Carefree and unburdened.
You will steer
every decision, every step,
Every thought I shall come up with.
But I am willingly prepared
to trade my improvidence
And I’d exchange my piece of mind
for the knot hanging on to me,
the cry of joy I encounter
when I return at night.
Well, goodnight, your day was long.
If I haven’t been too successful
to be the one I should have liked to be,
Then please have patience with me, for, you know,
I am still learning to that effect.
I might know a lot more by tomorrow.
And if I were impatient,
Rude or even unreasonable,
then you must please forgive me.
Actually, I should know
that I am the bigger one.
Wish I could be the wiser one as well.