[Mrs Lovett:]
Seems a downright shame...
[Sweeney Todd:]
Shame?
[Mrs Lovett:]
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has
Had, has
Nor it can't be traced
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift!
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...
[Sweeney Todd:]
Hah!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
[Mrs Lovett:]
Well, it does seem a waste...
[Sweeney Todd:]
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
[Mrs Lovett:]
It's an idea...
[Sweeney Todd:]
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years,
I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of all them pies!
[Sweeney Todd:]
How choice!
How rare!
[Sweeney Todd:]
For what's the sound of the world out there?
[Mrs Lovett:]
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
[Sweeney Todd:]
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
[Sweeney Todd:]
It's man devouring man, my dear!
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett:]
And who are we to deny it in here?
[Sweeney Todd:]
These are desperate times, Mrs Lovett
And desperate measures are called for!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
[Sweeney Todd:]
What is that?
[Mrs Lovett:]
It's priest. Have a little priest.
[Sweeney Todd:]
Is it really good?
[Mrs Lovett:]
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
[Sweeney Todd:]
Awful, lot of fat.
[Mrs Lovett:]
Only where it sat.
[Sweeney Todd:]
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
[Mrs Lovett:]
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice.
[Sweeney Todd:]
If it's for a price.
[Mrs Lovett:]
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Anything that's lean.
[Mrs Lovett:]
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Is that squire, on the fire?
[Mrs Lovett:]
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Looks thicker, more like vicar!
[Mrs Lovett:]
No, it has to be grocer -- It's green!
[Sweeney Todd:]
The history of the world, my love
[Mrs Lovett:]
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Is those below serving those up above!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
[Sweeney Todd:]
How gratifying for once to know
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett:]
That those above will serve those down below!
[Sweeney Todd:]
What is that?
[Mrs Lovett:]
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun.
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!
[Sweeney Todd:]
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Then actor,
That's compacter!
[Sweeney Todd:]
Ah but always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
[Mrs Lovett:]
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
[Sweeney Todd:]
We'll take the customers that we can get!
[Mrs Lovett:]
High-born and low, my love!
[Sweeney Todd:]
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett:]
And to anyone
At all!