On the first day of Christmas, my true love said to me:
"Oh Sarah, my sweet pea."
On the second day of Christmas, my true love lied to me.
Oh, what a pity, now he lies on the bottom of the sea.
On the third day of Christmas, the milkman came to see
If my husband was home for a pint of beer.
The question he popped and my jaws nearly dropped!
Oh what a pity, he had it coming, now there's two on the bottom of the sea.
On the fourth day of Christmas, the milkman's wife came by.
Worried to her bones she was, of her husband's life.
A blow to her head it made everything all right.
Oh what a pity, she had it coming, a knife cut her throat, now there's three on the bottom of the sea.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love got revealed,
He was keen on something else than his wife – that's me!
I went to see his mistress just to have a talk,
THEN I WENT HOME… or not!
That was not a pity, chopped her like meat, put her in a sack, now there's four on the bottom of the sea.
On the sixth day of Christmas, a man knocked on my door
Asked for my husband, "my true love".
Damn, what a pity, this is getting messy.
Strangled him to death, now there's five on the bottom of the sea.
On the seventh day of Christmas, the police knocked my door,
Told me the milkman's son had given them a call.
By asking some questions they found out what I'd done
Oh what a pity, end of my story, Sarah's going to jail!
Quickly I came up with a cunning plan,
"Look at the time, it's almost five, I bring you tea with a special treat!"
The poison made them sleep, a dagger made them bleed, time for me to flee, now there's eight on the bottom of the sea.
Yes there's eight on the bottom of the sea!