A Day in Falsettoland/Racquetball lyrics

[WHIZZER, spoken]

A day in Falsettoland

Dr. Mendel at work

[MENDEL]

I don't get it

I don't understand

In the '60s, everyone had heart

In the '60s, we were all a part of the same team

In the '60s, we had a new world to start

Could this

Oh God, don't say it is

Could this be the new world we started?

Here I sit, brokenhearted and

[CAROLINE, spoken]

You go out on the street, and there's all these people asking for a handout. Then you go home, you open your mail, and it's full of people asking for a donation. Then, you turn on the TV, and there's pictures of starving children in Ethiopia

[MENDEL, spoken]

And how does that make you feel, Diane?

[CAROLINE, spoken]

Caroline

[MENDEL, spoken]

Caroline?

[CAROLINE, spoken]

Yes, my name is Caroline

My God!

[MENDEL]

I don't get it

I've been left behind

Half my patients: Yuppie pagans

Modeled on the Ronald Reagans

Now the world is too pathetic

And I don't get it at all

[CAROLINE, spoken]

Now that I got the promotion, can I finally stop sleeping with my boss?

[MENDEL, spoken]

Time's up!

[CAROLINE, spoken]

You always do this!

[The patient exits.]

[MENDEL]

At least there's Trina at home

Trina in bed

Trina obsessing

And sort of caressing

My head with her feet

I once thought it was sweet

But I don't anymore

Now I just snore

'Cause I'm so exhausted

Listening to these yuppie farts complain

Listening as their shallow hearts explain

Their lives

[CHARLOTTE, spoken]

Trina works it out

[Trina enters, stretching, and dressed for a work out.]

[TRINA]

Marvin's back with Whizzer

Just like how it was

If I don't like Whizzer

It's because my ex sure does

Why should that upset me?

Sometimes I'm a lout

Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me

Why should I be wilting

When their precious love is not in doubt?

Work it out!

[JASON, spoken]

The neighbors relax after work

[Cordelia enters with food. Charlotte enters their home.]

[CORDELIA]

How was your day at the hospital?

[CHARLOTTE]

Unbelievable

What is that smell?

[CORDELIA]

Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine

I've been practicing

Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle

[MENDEL, spoken]

Hi, honey

[CORDELIA]

Well?

[TRINA]

Hi, honey

[MENDEL]

How was your day?

[TRINA]

It was terrible

Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer?

Marvin's back with Whizzer!

[MENDEL]

Drop it, sweetheart

Give it up

You know I love you

What's the matter, Trina darling?

I don't get it

Why can't you let go?

[TRINA]

Maybe in a mile, I'll be okay

I'll be happy when we finally have this bar mitzvah

[MENDEL]

Isn't it enough

I want you every night?

[TRINA, spoken]

Who?

[MENDEL]

Every other night?

[TRINA, spoken]

Me?

[MENDEL]

Every third night?

[TRINA]

Hm

[MENDEL, spoken]

Okay, let's drop it

(sung)

Everything will be alright

[TRINA]

Everything will be alright

[MENDEL & TRINA]

Everything will be alright

[Cordelia has just poured Charlotte a martini.]

[CORDELIA]

How was your day

At the hospital?

[CHARLOTTE]

It was wonderful

For the first time in months

Nobody died

[CORDELIA, spoken]

Yay?

[CHARLOTTE]

There were just

Heart attacks and gallstones

Light bulbs up the ass

Fake appendicitis which was gas

Which I diagnosed

People overdosed and I saved them

I saved young people, old people

One priest and one high school principal

Saving lives, I feel invincible

Yes I do

Do you know how great my life is?

Do you know how great my life is?

Saving lives and loving you

[CORDELIA]

You save lives and I save chicken fat

I can't fucking deal with that!

[CHARLOTTE]

Do you know how great my life is?

[CORDELIA]

Yes, I know how great your life is

[MENDEL & TRINA]

Everything will be alright

[CHARLOTTE]

Do you know how great my life is?

[CORDELIA]

Yes, I know how great your life is

[MENDEL & TRINA]

Everything will be alright

[CHARLOTTE]

Do you know how great my life is?

[CORDELIA]

Yes, I know how great your life is

[MENDEL & TRINA]

Everything will be alright

[CHARLOTTE]

Saving lives

[BOTH]

And loving you

[WHIZZER]

Ha

It bounced twice

[MARVIN]

No, it didn't

[WHIZZER]

Yeah, once, then twice

You know it did

[MARVIN]

That's not nice

[WHIZZER]

No, it isn't

But you're a pain in the ass

[MARVIN]

You're a beast

But, at least

When you play me, you win

[WHIZZER]

You give up

[MARVIN]

I perspire

[WHIZZER]

Where's the heat?

Where's the fire?

Used to be you desire

To fight!

So fight!

[MARVIN]

So play!

[WHIZZER]

One-two-three-four!

[MARVIN]

One-two-three-four!

[WHIZZER]

One-two-three-four!

[MARVIN]

One-two-three-four!

[WHIZZER]

One-two-three-four!

[MARVIN]

One-two-three-four!

[WHIZZER]

One-two-three-four!

[MARVIN]

One-two-three-four!

[WHIZZER]

Lucky dink!

[MARVIN]

I'm finessing

[WHIZZER]

Something stinks in how you play

[MARVIN]

Don't you think it's a blessing

I'm so pathetically bad?

[WHIZZER]

Just stay back

Serve with force

I'll attack

And, of course

I will win

Just give in

To bliss

And kiss

[MARVIN]

Let's go!

Do you know?

All I want

Is you

Anything you do

Is all right

Yes, it's all right

Do you know?

All I want is

You

[WHIZZER]

Down the alley

High lob

Low drive

Ceiling shot

Into the corner

Four walls

Dink

[WHIZZER, spoken]

What?

[MARVIN, spoken]

What?

[WHIZZER]

Hit your shoe

[MARVIN]

No, it didn't

[WHIZZER]

Yes it did

The game is through

[MARVIN]

That's not nice

[WHIZZER]

No, it isn't

[MARVIN]

God, you're a pain in the ass

[WHIZZER]

Play it raw

Don't play pretty

Sex and games

In New York City

Have got to be played with flair

And passion

And passion and flair

[MARVIN & WHIZZER]

Do you know

​all I want is you?

Anything you do

​is alright

Yes it's alright

[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]

Do you know how great my life is?

Do you know how great my life is?

Everything will be alright!

Everything will be alright!

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, MENDEL, TRINA, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

Everything will be alright!

Everything will

Everything will

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright

Feel alright

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright for the rest of your life!

Feel alright for the rest of your

Rest of your

Everything will be alright!