Al cielo no [English translation]

It happened that I decided to kill myself

because there was nothing from where to hold on

Is not that I'm a man with the blues,

but not even Superman on drugs could save me.

One thing I was really sure of:

I wouldn't be going to heaven even if they paid me.

Hell for me was wonderful,

or reencarnating in a Cordon Bleu or in Sanchez Padilla.1

So yes, I was going to ask

'cause I wasn't pretending to go to heaven,

and let's see with who I had to talk

that I had influences in Uruguay,

so no, no, please

not to heaven.

I've always imagined heaven

like when a cartoon dies,

like some horrible Michelangelo painting,

or like the paradise Dante told.

But who convinced me that heaven was rubbish,

thought I had some little hate towards her,

were the words of Grandma Popa

when she appeared to me while playing cards.

And said "look darling

here at heaven everything is dreadful,

because there's no pool neither peanuts

neither a bar to drink anisette"

so no, no, please

not to heaven.

By chance I found out that eternity

lasts so much time, and sometimes more

and I can't stand that everything goes on

sitting in a cloud like an asshole.

Playing wrongly the harp and out of tune

surrounded by little angels always peeing,

pulling out spiderwebs from my genitals

because there all the Uruguayans are virgins.

I'd rather be in hell

even if I have to endure

Rivera2, Oribe3, Garzon4

and the Peñarol 5supporters

so no, no, please

not to heaven.

1. Uruguayan sports journalist2. Fructuoso Rivera, Uruguayan president3. Manuel Oribe, Uruguayan president4. Eugenio Garzon, Uruguayan militar5. Uruguayan football club