Mauvaise foi nocturne [English translation]

[Fatal]Yeah, who's there?

[Vitoo] Fatal, it's Vitoo, open the door....

[Fatal] Are you ok, Vitoo? You look strange. What's the matter? Cool, dude.

[Vitoo] Non, ça va pas non. No, I'm not ok.

[Fatal] Right...tell me what's wrong. Stop teasing me (keeping me in the dark) ...

[Vitoo] Fatal, sit down, I need to talk to you.

I've spent my evening drinking

Fatal, there's something wrong about her, I don't know, she doubts me ....

[Fatal] Please stop it Vitoo. You know, your chick loves you man, your chick told me :

You know, I completly trust Vitoo, he's my little cream puff...

You don't need to panic, I swear it

Your chick is cool, your chick is good,

Vitoo, you fuck tons of birds, she doesn't suspect anything, she's a bloody idiot!

[Vitoo] Right...what do you know, anyway?

It's been two months since I've been freeking out because of her

[Fatal] Really?!

[Vitoo] Since she's been checking my messages on the answering machine every fifteen minutes

[Fatal] Change your PIN code!

[Vitoo] She's infiltrated my answering machine,

My bird has become another woman yeah!!

[Fatal] Are you sure ? can you prove it by the rule of three?

[Vitoo] She's become weird,

Every night she has me followed by her brother Denis

Who's even planning on beating me up on Tuesday,

It's become alarming, a true nightmare,

I fear her so much that I sleep in a hotel at night!

[Fatal] She's completly mad, you enjoy fucking other birds....

All the weird stuff, all your trisome parties and the bimbos, yeah!

All your crappy lies so you can carry out your tranquil sex parties ....

You've got a python in your pants, Vitoo, you are a real stud.

[Vitoo] I love you

[Fatal] Cool...tell her that!

[Vitoo] I am sorry

[Fatal] Good, this is good!

[Vitoo] It's happened only 16 times

[Fatal] Well, don't tell her this !

[Vitoo] But I don't know if I can accept to sleep only with her !

[Fatal] Ok don't worry about it

Give me the keys, tonight we gonna party

Fuck, I can't believe that, slap me ("pinch me"),

Look at the way she scratched your BM, the way she bursted your BM

She even took a shit on the back seat of the BM

while fuck it, it's mine!

[Vitoo] I am sorry....

[Fatal] But why did she fucked up my car ?

[Vitoo] I didn't dare

[Fatal] You didn't dare to tell her what?

[Vitoo] That it was yours ...

[Fatal] Well mine sort of speak, I had borrowed it !

[Vitoo] I didn't want to own up to taking her out with my 4L !

[Fatal] Come on, we're going,

[Vitoo] But why?

[Fatal] Cos' she's going to pay off the car, she went over the top !

[Vitoo] Oh, I really don't know...

[Fatal] You need to talk to her, dude !

[Vitoo] I feel like puking

[Fatal] Well open the glove compartment then !

[Vitoo] I shouldn't have tried the see fruits from the cocktail !

[Fatal] Come on, knock on the door! No.... knock, I said !

[Meuf de Vitoo] Yeah 12 seconds, I'm coming…

[Fatal] Come on, go on

[Vitoo] What have you done?

Why all this violence, I haven't done anything to you?

[Fatal] Yeah...tell her !

[Vitoo] I swear to you, this girl, I don't know what she was doing at my place !

[Fatal] What ?

[Vitoo] Anyway I wasn't there, or anyway it wasn't me

[Fatal] Not this, man!

[Vitoo] I was walking my dog (bitch)!

[Fatal] Oh là là !

[Vitoo's chick] Your dog (bitch) died three years ago, fuck off

[Vitoo] Not really, she actually kind of made it because…

[Fatal] Shut your mouth, dude !

And you Mother Theresa , please calm down !

You are tensed like a string....Ah, you need to fart, I am telling you !

The BM is mine!

Besides you didn't know it, but I had taken it from my mom ...

So shut your mouth you too

The poor bastard is pissing in his pants for fuck's sake !

Keep your mean-minded wisecracks for your grandma ...

Oh… Why are you hitting me, you nuts?

You're not a chick, you're a ninja, or what ?

Fuck, come on, I'm scared, we're getting the hell out of here, come on Vitoo !

[Vitoo] Hurry up

[Fatal] Give me the car keys !

[Vitoo] Open the door for me.

[Fatal] Get in, we are going to be safe.

[Vitoo] You know, I am really scared.

[Fatal] Does she train for free-fight or what ?

[Vitoo] She would even be capable to finish me off with a shovel.

[Vitoo] She's really dreaming (or being dellusional/ nurturing illusions)!

She forces me to do the wahing up,

She wants me to take the rubbish out ,

What the fuck I am doing with her!

[Fatal] Yeah, what the fuck are you doing with her ?

[Vitoo] Yeah what the fuck I'm doing with her !

[Fatal] Yeah what the fuck are you doing with her na na easy (slowly) yeah big tac

yep big tac tac bang bang hands up hands up yeah yeah pump it up!

[Vitoo] What are you doing?

[Fatal] What? What's wrong? I am enjoying the vibes! Quoi ? It's cool ....fuck you, man!

[Fatal] It's true, I am not the one who has to put up with her girlfriends

Watch out for the routine, the tampax in the kitchen

[Vitoo] Yeah, she pees the door open, she doesn't shave her underarms anymore,

[Fatal] Yes, but the chicks, they also mean this stuff Vitoo, don't get desperate

Look at me, with all the women I used to know,

I couldn't do it anymores

And then one day love came along,

I kissed them asses bye bye

Cos' I was the nympho, the greatest stud in Panam (Paris).

My ex ended up doing drugs, I had to call up the social EMS

My life was about fucking the sluts from Paris

And then, among them, you know it, there were loads of transvesties

But look at me today, I've pulled up my zipper

Life is not just about sex, Vitoo, put this in your head

[Vito] But what are you talking about ?

You mean you're not a man anymore and you walk proudly upright?

[Fatal] Stop it !

[Vitoo] You mean you stay at home when she's not there at night

[Fatal] Yeah, of course

[Vitoo] What about your third arm ?

[Fatal] What about it ?

[Vitoo] Since when it hasn't been ruling the roost anymore in your life?

[Fatal] Stop it .....what are you doing here ?

[Vitoo] Are you sure of being faithful ?

[Fatal] Yeah, of course!

[Vitoo] Can I read your e-mails? ?

[Fatal] Yeah !

[Vitoo] And your external hard disk ?

[Fatal] The same !

[Vitoo] Search your Bluetooth ?

Click on your motherboard (main board) ?

Take your web cam to pieces ?

Get into your ton minitel ?

If you are confident,

[Fatal] Yeah bah yeah what ?!

[Vitoo] Then give me your phone we're gonna listen to your answering machine and we'll see

[Fatal] Stop it now, you're tired, you are full of hatred,

Give me back my phone, what are you doing ?

[Vitoo] I am going to do it for you,

[Fatal] Hey stop it, it's not normal to hassle people like that !

[Vitoo] Your number dude,

[Fatal] Hang up the phone, hang up the phone!

[Vitoo] I am going to do it for you,

[Fatal] You're going to get in trouble, I'll take the crick, the tear gas, be careful!

[Fatal's answering machine]

Yes you have reached Mika's answering machine, please leave a message after the beep

because if you leave it before, bah it won't work

dial your secret code and finish with "12"/ "gang bang" ("partouze" = gang bang// terminez "par douze": finish with 12. It is a pun)

[Fatal's answering ]

You have 2600 new messages, think about archiving

Received yesterday at 22:51: Yep, it's Profanation Fonky, fine or fine?

Received yesterday at 22:61: Yep baby, it's Vito's mum, It's been an hour and I already miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Oh là là the amazing way you fucked me! I can't wait for tomorrow! Big kisses you know where…”

[Fatal] We're good now? You ok, you've calmed down ? You're going to shut your mouth?

[Vitoo] Fatal get ready, I need to talk to you

You are going to spend your life in darkness…

[Shouting]

Because I am going to put your eyes out!!