Be Your Own Dentist lyrics

Hello there

I'm so glad you could join me today

I know you've been feeling a lot of stress and frustration lately

So I'm happy you've decided to take some time to relax and to reset

You won't need anything special for this exercise

Other than your body, your breath

And a pair of stainless steel slip-joint pliers that you can set to the side for now

So, find a comfortable place to sit

And let's begin by taking a full, deep, nourishing breath in

And a long, relaxing exhale out

As you gently close the eyes

Continue to breathe deeply and consciously

Allowing your lungs to fill up to their capacity

As you scan your body for tension

Starting at the crown of the head and working slowly down the body

Simply notice where there might be some residual tightness left over from the stress of your day

Relax the jaw, shrug the shoulders

Rotate the torso gently from side to side

And imagine that you are dusting off the noise of your busy, active life

Inhaling through the nose, exhaling out the mouth

It's natural for the mind to wander while we do this

And while our thoughts will certainly drift and scatter

We need only notice and not be discouraged that the mind is not calm or clear

I like to imagine each train of thought

As a rambunctious toddler with dirty feet running into the forest

I smile gently and let them go

But I don't chase after them into the woods

Because I know they will be eaten or murdered

And that makes me sad

Bringing our attention once again back to the natural rhythm of our breath

Let's dive into the focus of this meditation, the mouth

As we open wide and close a few times to stretch out the jaw muscles

We can reflect on just how much traffic

This busy section of the body has to deal with every day

We are often told not to touch our face

So I invite you to be a little bit bad and go ahead

And firmly dig into the lower jawline with your fingertips

Massaging in a circular pattern

Traveling from under the ears and towards the chin

Isn't it funny how something so simple can feel so delicious

Inhaling through the nose

Exhaling out the mouth

Now, grab the pair of pliers and open wide

Like you are about to eat a very large and very tasty submarine sandwich

Quickly locate one of your top back molars with your tongue

It doesn't matter which side

Then, carefully direct the pliers inside the mouth

Until you can feel a firm and steady grip on that molar

Take a few very deep breaths in and out through the mouth

Drying out any moisture on the enamel of the tooth

So that the jaws of the pliers can enjoy a sure and steady grip

Now as you take a long, full inhalation

Tighten your grip on the handle as much as you can

And while you exhale, wrench the pliers with all the force you can summon

Up and away and down

And repeat this until you hear the crunch of the bone

As it breaks and separates from the spongy flesh of the gums

You'll likely notice an unfamiliar sensation

One that you might describe as excruciating

But don't let that disturb you from the task at hand

Continue to breathe deliberately, in and out through the mouth

Tightening the grip on the handle and wrenching, tugging and twisting the pliers

On the exhale until the molar is set free

Working our way from left to right in a steady, deliberate fashion

Notice the throbbing of the nerves as they pulse and quiver

Over the coppery pool of blood filling up inside the mouth

A casual tilt of the head will empty you out

So we can reinsert the pliers with a nice, strong grip

As we work on the next tooth

You'll quickly notice how different the shapes of our teeth are and

And you'll naturally need to adjust your technique

As you move from molars to premolars or bicuspids to canines

And incisors, which can be so darn slippery

It might be hard to focus at this point as shock is likely to set in

So please, be patient

Take all the time you need and remember

To come back to the deep rhythmic assurance of the breath

Inhaling, exhaling

Inhale, exhale

In and out

In and out