It's Illegal, It's Immoral Or It Makes You Fat [Russian translation]

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat

Oh, it really doesn't matter what you're aiming at

If it's something you enjoy, you can be certain that

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat

1. There are many philosophers who will agree

That the best things in life are absolutely free,

But you're bound to find out before you go too far,

If it happens to be fun, the chances are

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat

Oh, it really doesn't matter what you're aiming at

If it's something you enjoy, you can be certain that

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat

2. If you shoot the tax collector who plagues you all your life,

If you kiss a pretty girl when you have an ugly wife,

If you can't look a treacle pudding in the eye,

Man, you might as well lay down and die

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat

Oh, it really doesn't matter what you're aiming at

If it's something you enjoy, you can be certain that

It's illegal, it's immoral or it makes you fat (x2)